


Unknown (To You)

by aserenitatum



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/F, additional tags to be added later, set after Pitch Perfect 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-13 16:43:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 24,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16896255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aserenitatum/pseuds/aserenitatum
Summary: “Stacie—hey,” Aubrey says softly, her smile growing more genuine the longer she looks at Stacie.“What are you doing here?” Stacie asks, clearly surprised by seeing Aubrey back at the Barden main library and taking the opportunity to drink in every inch of the blonde.“Studying.”set after Pitch Perfect 1





	1. Chapter 1

“Aubrey?”

She looks up at the sound of her name, the voice familiar and if her smile is a little forced, Stacie doesn’t notice, the delighted look on her face not budging an inch.

“Stacie—hey,” she says softly, her smile growing more genuine the longer she looks at Stacie.

“What are you doing here?” she asks, clearly surprised by seeing Aubrey back at the Barden main library and taking the opportunity to drink in every inch of the blonde.

“Studying,” Aubrey says, gesturing to the books spread around her.

“But you graduated,” Stacie says, but then her brow furrows almost imperceptibly. “Right? Like, more than a year ago?”

Aubrey understands the confusion, especially considering Chloe’s own questionable road to graduation so she chuckles softly, nods.

“I’m back for grad school,” she clarifies and Stacie’s grin is back, just as brilliant as before.

“That’s great! Have you been to the house yet? I’m sure the other girls would love to see you! This new girl started this year, Flo, you have to meet her, she’s hilarious,” Stacie says, her fingers drumming along the back of the chair she’s standing in front of as she channels her excitement.

“I haven’t, but I will soon.” Stacie’s mouth quirks again so Aubrey gestures to the books again. “Grad school studying. It’s no joke.”

“I’m sure you’ll do great,” Stacie says, smiling softly, her tone carrying a twinge of _something_ that Aubrey can’t quite place. “I actually came here to study. Is it okay if I sit here?”

“Go right ahead,” Aubrey says and the smile she gets in return makes her heart flutter. She tries to focus on her schoolwork while Stacie settles and starts pulling out textbooks and notebooks and pens and highlighters but she’s so distracted by the sheer volume of items being placed on their table that she can’t help herself, looks up and has to curb her surprise.

“I have a lot to do,” Stacie explains.

Aubrey nods slowly, gaze raking over the four textbooks balanced precariously near the edge of the table due to lack of space.

“I see that,” she says with a quick smile as Stacie starts flicking through a textbook and Aubrey returns to her own material.

She’s barely a page further before she has the distinct feeling of being watched and she tries not to focus on it, not to pay it any attention but it’s distracting so she pretends to scribble something on a post-it note as she says, “Are you in the library to study, or…?”

Aubrey doesn’t lift her head from her notes and while Stacie feels sufficiently chastised, she plasters on a grin just in case Aubrey glances up at her.

“It’s just weird seeing you here,” Stacie says, expression softening when Aubrey throws her another quick smile.

“Get used to it,” Aubrey mutters, a drawn-out sigh falling from her lips.

“You too,” Stacie says and it’s enough for Aubrey’s brows to furrow slightly, head tilting as she considers the words. “I am living the hashtag-library-life,” Stacie explains and she’s not sure why she feels proud when her words elicit a short, sharp laugh from Aubrey.

“Well you’re always welcome at my table,” Aubrey says, fingers tightening around her pen as she looks at Stacie, trying to convey a genuine sentiment.

“Same goes for you,” Stacie says, holds the eye contact with a soft smile for far longer than is necessary.

Aubrey looks away first, clears her throat softly to curb her racing pulse.

Stacie pats her book, whispers “back to work,” and tries to ignore Aubrey sitting across from her.

 

* * *

 

“You came!” Stacie says before she even comes to a full stop in front of Aubrey, the liquid in her cup sloshing a little over the side at the abrupt stop. “I was starting to think I’d only get to see you in the harsh fluorescent light of the library.”

Aubrey laughs softly at that, shrugging out of her light coat because it’s extremely warm inside, all the bodies pushed together in a space designed for a lot fewer.

“I pinky-promised Chloe I’d take one night off studying,” Aubrey explains.  

“So pinky promises are an agreement that you honour?” Stacie asks teasingly, hand gently touching Aubrey’s elbow to guide her up the stairs. Aubrey wants to protest because they’re leaving the party and that’s not the point of being there but then Stacie shakes her head and plucks Aubrey’s jacket from her hands and quickly opens her bedroom door to effortlessly chuck the garment across the room and onto her bed. “Don’t want you to lose it. So, pinky promises?”

Aubrey smiles at the thoughtful gesture and lets Stacie lead her back downstairs. “What about them?”

“You’re faithful to them?” Stacie asks.

Aubrey laughs, nods as she ends up rerouting them to the kitchen to get herself a drink. “Of course.”

“Good to know,” Stacie says to herself, nodding her head with a mischievous smile but Aubrey hears her words and chuckles, shakes her head with mirth.

Aubrey opens the fridge and looks over the contents, mouth twisting unhappily before closing it again and glancing around the selection of bottled liquor on the counter.

“What are you drinking?” Aubrey asks, trying to peer into Stacie’s cup, had gotten a whiff of it and it had smelled amazing.

“Uhh…” Stacie holds her cup closer to her chest, almost protectively and that makes Aubrey really interested in its contents. “Just, alcohol.”

“Smooth,” Aubrey says, rolls her eyes and Stacie gives her a wry smile. “What’s in the cup, Stacie?”

Her voice is stern enough to give Stacie flashbacks to freshman year and Aubrey’s self-described reign of terror.

She hands over the cup and watches closely as Aubrey sniffs it and takes a sip, frowning when she swallows.

“Is there even alcohol in this?”

“It’s sparkling grape juice,” Stacie admits with a sheepish smile and Aubrey’s frown melts into a puzzled smile. “I’m not allowed to have alcohol because of my meds.”

Stacie looks away from Aubrey’s face, doesn’t want to see the pity there.

“Stacie…” Aubrey says softly and when Stacie looks up, her eyes are warm and her lips are twisted in a playful smile. “Do you have any for me?”

“You don’t want to drink?” she blurts out in surprise. “It’s a party.”

“And I’d rather not have a hangover tomorrow,” Aubrey explains and Stacie’s not sure why she feels relief bubble up inside her. “I have a busy study schedule, after all.”

Aubrey winks and Stacie feels warmth bloom in her chest. She’s unused to seeing this side of Aubrey, only knows her as the focused grad student and the demanding former Bellas captain and she’s learning more and more that she really enjoys this part of the blonde, and she feels almost privileged to get to see it.

Stacie realises she’s staring when Aubrey’s smile twitches with the effort of suppressing a grin and Stacie has to shake her head to clear her mind, eyes refocusing and she looks at the cupboard next to the fridge.

“There’s a cooler down there,” Stacie says and Aubrey turns away to open said cupboard, smiling widely when she finds the cooler tucked behind a stack of cups.

She easily moves them out of the way and opens the cooler, reaching in and coming up with a bottle of sparkling juice. Her smile errs on the side of triumphant and Stacie’s mesmerised, watching as Aubrey easily flicks the plastic cork off the top and pours it into a cup.

She turns then, holds up the bottle as an offer and Stacie nods so Aubrey moves closer and tops off Stacie’s cup before returning the bottle to the cooler and closing the cooler and cupboard door.

“Cheers,” Stacie says when Aubrey rejoins her and picks up her cup.

“To sober partying,” Aubrey says.

Stacie laughs and taps Aubrey’s cup with hers.

 

* * *

 

Aubrey’s not sure when exactly she started referring to it as ‘their table’, but her study sessions with Stacie become a regular thing. They meet at least three times a week and sit in near-silence opposite each other for hours, occasionally looking up when the other lets out a disgruntled groan or relieved sigh, sharing highlighters and post-it notes and just independently studying together.

More often than not, when Stacie’s stomach is begging to be heard and is loud enough to break even Aubrey’s concentration and make her giggle softly, Stacie will invite her to get food together, and Aubrey is increasingly running out of reasons to say no.

She hates how disappointed Stacie looks every time she politely thanks her for the invite while turning her down but she knows that saying yes will take them down a slippery slope that Aubrey would rather avoid, especially now that she’s back on campus on a regular basis.

Stacie always takes it in stride, smiling widely and giving Aubrey a variation of “that’s okay, one day I’ll crack you” but Aubrey knows her well enough to never miss the sadness and disappointment lingering in Stacie’s eyes.

It hurts and it sucks, but she sticks firmly to her no.

Except one day her body betrays her. She’d been late for a class and had barely had time to have breakfast, grabbing an apple on her way out and apparently downing copious amounts of coffee isn’t enough to make up for her lack of food intake because when she’s sitting opposite Stacie sometime between lunch and dinner, her stomach growls and Aubrey’s cheeks flush red.

Stacie looks up at her with an almost manic smile, pen dropping away from her hand as she starts tapping the tabletop restlessly.

Aubrey’s mortified but Stacie’s too blinded by her opportunism to pay it any attention, already marking her place in her fracture mechanics textbook.

“Food?” she says and they both know Aubrey’s out of excuses to say no.

“Sure,” Aubrey replies, managing a small smile at how erratically excited Stacie’s become. “Let me just go check out this book then we can go.”

Stacie falters, eyes narrowing at the blonde in suspicion.

Aubrey frowns before it clicks, rolls her eyes as she pointedly drops her bag on the table and takes out her student ID. “I wouldn’t do that.”

Stacie has the good sense to feel a little chastened at Aubrey’s sharp tone, mumbling a quick “sorry” as she finishes packing her things and Aubrey turns away.

When they’re leaving the library Stacie gestures to the cafe opposite the building, doesn’t want to push too hard after all the times she’d invited Aubrey and she’d refused.

“No, c’mon, the least we can do is go somewhere nice,” Aubrey says with a small smile and she can see that Stacie is buoyed by the words no matter how hard she tries to hide it.

“Where are you taking me?” Stacie asks after Aubrey nudges her side so they turn to go the other way.

“You’ll see,” Aubrey says mysteriously and Stacie can feel her own anticipation kick into high gear, excited to finally be hanging out with Aubrey in a setting that isn’t the library or a Bellas party. “Right through here,” Aubrey instructs then and Stacie becomes confused when she’s led down a hidden path through the greens behind the Arts building.

“Is this where you kill me and hide my body?” Stacie teases and Aubrey laughs.

“No.”

Stacie makes a sound of disbelief but doesn’t press her point, feels like a total fool when they emerge from the wildlife and end up standing in front of a tiny Italian restaurant. She looks around and recognises the area but hadn’t known about this part of campus or the shortcut leading to it and her face must be giving away how bewildered she feels because Aubrey laughs softly and nudges her towards the entrance.

“It shouldn’t be too busy because it’s not dinnertime yet,” Aubrey says, stepping around Stacie and pushing open the door, pausing to look back at the brunette. “You coming?”

“Definitely,” Stacie breathes, quickly scurrying after Aubrey and breathing in deeply once they’re inside and the heavenly smell of the restaurant surrounds them. “How did you find this place?”

“I went to school here for four years,” Aubrey comments lightly, a teasing lilt accompanying the words and Stacie’s starting to really like that melodic sound.

They settle at a small table opposite from each other, very much the same way they always sit in the library but the restaurant isn’t as harshly lit with white light, and they’re both cast in a warm yellow light by the atmosphere. There aren’t any candles, but that doesn’t mean that Stacie isn’t getting serious romantic vibes from the restaurant and before she has time to dwell on that, Aubrey looks up at her and she notices for the first time that Aubrey’s eyes aren’t really as green as she’d initially thought.

In the most scientific sense, Stacie _knows_ that Aubrey can’t have golden flecks in her eyes because that’s not how eye colour works and that it’s just the different light doing it, but she’s distracted all the same, so it takes her a second longer than usual to notice that Aubrey’s staring at her lips and almost as a reflex Stacie’s tongue pokes out to sweep over her lower lip before pressing her lips together and it’s the small movement that finally snaps Aubrey out of her staring.

She takes a deep breath, holding it as her shoulders tense slightly and Stacie’s about to open her mouth to say something when a waitress appears next to their table to take their order.

Aubrey immediately turns to the girl with a smile, recovering quickly as she asks for some more time to look over the menu.

She takes the reprieve for what it is and opens her menu to have a look, scanning the selection and when the girl comes back they have no trouble ordering.

Stacie notices Aubrey suppress a smile when she tells the girl what she wants, and as soon as the waitress is gone, Stacie turns to Aubrey with narrowed eyes and a, “What?”

“Nothing,” Aubrey says, but the small smile is still there.

“Aubrey.”

“I just…” she says, stopping to frown softly down at the table before looking up at Stacie again with a smile. “Always suspected you were secretly a calzone girl.”

“What else have you been assuming about me?” Stacie can’t help but tease, leaning back in her chair with a grin. A part of her brain is screaming to joke about assuming this is a date but she genuinely has no idea what Aubrey’s reaction would be and she’d rather not risk the good mood they have going.

The words catch Aubrey by surprise and she stares off to try and think of other things she’s been assuming about Stacie, trying to keep her brain from going into dangerous territory and it takes so long that Stacie laughs, breaking into her thoughts.

“Don’t hurt yourself trying to think of anything,” she teases and Aubrey smiles, rolls her eyes good-naturedly and they fall into an easy conversation.

 

* * *

 

She knows she shouldn’t look at her phone but she feels like she’s been tossing and turning for hours, unable to fall asleep. She’s tried every method she knows but her brain won’t shut off, seems to be working in overdrive and Stacie can’t even figure out _what_ it’s working on because every time she tries to find the source of her restlessness it’s like she hits a wall.

She caves, reaching out from under her sheets and grabbing her phone to check the time.

02:36

She wants to whine but Chloe’s become a really light sleeper in the last couple of months and Stacie knows that the slightest sound will wake her, knows she’s been risking waking her anyway with all her tossing and turning.

Stacie considers her options, makes up her mind pretty quickly when she realises that laying in bed worrying about not falling asleep is going to get her nowhere.

She quietly crawls out of bed, phone still in hand and doesn’t bother putting on pants or anything for fear of making a sound and she makes it almost all the way to the door — _why did Chloe get to have the bed closest to the door anyway?_ — before her body betrays her, her knee, the bad one, cracking loudly and Chloe shoots up in bed.

“Stacie?!”

“I’m okay, Chlo,” Stacie reassures immediately. “Go back to sleep.”

“Are you sure?” Chloe asks around a yawn, rubbing at her left eye.

“I’m just gonna go get some water. I’m sorry I woke you,” Stacie whispers, moving closer to the door. “Go back to sleep,” she softly urges again and Chloe nods, settles back in bed and Stacie waits for her to fall asleep again before closing the bedroom door behind her and making her way downstairs.

It’s not a complete lie because she does get water from the kitchen but she ends up settling on the couch under a blanket, reaching for the remote and navigating to the Bellas’ shared Netflix account. She’s exhausted but her brain isn’t letting her sleep, and maybe watching some tv is what she needs to finally fall asleep so she clicks on Planet Earth and tucks the remote with her under the blanket with a soft sigh.

The first episode has just ended when her phone buzzes and she frowns, wonders who could possibly be awake at the late hour and curiosity gets the better of her so she pauses her programme and reaches for her phone, unlocking it to look at the notification.

_Aubrey Posen [3:48]: I miss you_

Stacie’s frown deepens the longer she stares at the text, not sure what to make of it. She’s not even sure she should text back as the text clearly isn’t meant for her and she also doesn’t want to give away that she’s up in the middle of the night but before she has a chance to do anything, a second message comes in.

_Aubrey Posen [3:52]: Sorry, wrong number_

Stacie isn’t sure if that makes her feel better or worse and her mind is racing again but at least now there’s a very clear reason for it. She hits play on her show but barely pays attention as her thoughts go a mile a minute. There’s a lot to unpack from Aubrey’s accidental texts to her but it does explain why every once in a while Stacie catches Aubrey looking incredibly sad, like the world is weighing on her shoulders in a heart-breaking way more than in a stressful way.

Sometimes, when she thinks Stacie isn’t looking, Aubrey gets a faraway, melancholic look on her face, her eyes missing that spark that Stacie likes so much and she’s considered asking about it, asking if Aubrey’s okay but something always stops her at the last moment.

Stacie’s not sure when it happens but at some point she does finally fall asleep, with Netflix on in the background and her phone pressed to her chest.

When she wakes up in the morning, she immediately re-reads her messages to make sure last night’s texts aren’t something her mind made up and as soon as she sees the six words, her heart sinks.

She’d been trying, really, valiantly, trying not to let her old feelings creep back but she’s been failing. Ignoring her crush on her Bellas captain had been easy in freshman year because it was not at all difficult to compartmentalise those feelings away when Aubrey spent the better part of the school year yelling at them and generally being a pain in the ass — despite the fact that sometimes she would feel a flash of _something_ when Aubrey was sweaty from cardio and rehearsals and her cheeks were flushed red with exertion and Stacie’s body traitorously reminded her that she could easily ignore her feelings, but not her lust.

But this Aubrey? A slightly mellowed out Aubrey who’s no longer singularly focused on winning but just trying to get through grad school while maintaining some measure of sanity, with the same gorgeous expressive eyes and smart mouth that had previously been hidden under biting comments?

Stacie’s too weak, her defences too crumbled to try and fight it.

It’s also just her luck that Aubrey’s apparently dating someone else because this is clearly the shittiest year on record for one Stacie Conrad.

Before she has a chance to spiral down that wave of depression and self-loathing, she hears the quick, light steps of Ashley and Jessica coming down the stairs so she hides away her frown with an easy smile and lets them take her attention.

 

* * *

 

Stacie’s in the kitchen intently watching the popcorn, counting between each pop as she tries to prevent to kernels from burning.

“Hey.”

Stacie whirls around at the sound of the voice, her surprise clear as she says, “Hey!” in a voice a little too loud to be natural.

Aubrey points to the microwave and Stacie’s reminded of her task, turns to glance at the microwave just as it beeps.

When she opens the door, there’s a faint burning smell but Stacie doesn’t have time to focus on that.

“What are you doing here?”

“Movie night,” Aubrey says simply. “Chloe invited me if that’s okay.”

“No, yeah, totally, why wouldn’t it be?” Stacie covers, proud of herself for not stumbling over the words and smiling widely.

Aubrey’s face takes on a strange expression and Stacie can’t pinpoint what it is exactly, but it reminds her of the texts she received late last night and of all the other times she’s seen Aubrey with the same look and her mouth moves before her brain can intervene.

“I didn’t know you were dating anybody.”

Aubrey’s shoulders tense and her jaw clenches and Stacie immediately knows she’s made a mistake.

“I’m not,” Aubrey says, eyes hard as she looks up at Stacie. Stacie’s biting her lip nervously, ready to apologise and Aubrey can see how worried she is so she forces herself to relax slightly, voice soft as she says, “I was.”

Stacie shoots her a wry smile that Aubrey returns.

“Miss ‘m?” Stacie asks, voice hushed and Aubrey’s throat closes up at the realisation that she can’t make out if Stacie had been trying to say ‘them’ or ‘him’.

“4 am is a weak hour,” Aubrey whispers back, dropping her gaze to not give away how much she doesn’t want to have this conversation but Stacie must get the hint because she doesn’t ask anything else. “I’m sorry I got you involved and you’re kind to worry but you don’t have to. I’m fine.”

“Okay…” Stacie says hesitantly and Aubrey looks up to find Stacie watching her closely. “We’re friends, right?”

Aubrey’s brows twitch and her eyes go a little squinty as she tries to figure out where Stacie’s going with that line of conversation.

“Yes.”

“So you know you can talk to me about… stuff.”

The words and the careful way they’re said makes a soft smile flicker across Aubrey’s face as she nods once. “I know.”

“Okay. Good,” Stacie asserts.

“Stacie?!” floats in from the hallway.

“She’s in the kitchen!” Cynthia Rose yells and seconds later Beca’s standing in the kitchen with them.

She does a double-take at the sight of Aubrey, shoots the blonde a quick smile and a “hey” before turning to Stacie.

“What’s up?”

“I just checked the attic again and can’t find it,” Beca says, shaking her head.

Stacie’s lips pull into a pout as she frowns.

“Dammit.”

“What can’t you find?” Aubrey asks, reaching for a piece of popcorn from the bowl Stacie’s just pulled out of the microwave and arching an eyebrow when Beca instinctively bats her hand away. “Back off.”

“No stealing popcorn. House rules,” Beca mutters lowly, narrowing her eyes at Aubrey.

“Okay, stop it you two,” Stacie says, trying for a stern tone and knows she falls far from it when both Aubrey and Beca turn to look at her with amused disbelief. “Don’t make me make you hug it out.”

Aubrey immediately retracts her hand as Beca takes a step away from the blonde.

“I lost my coat,” Stacie says, turning to Aubrey and picking up their thread of conversation.

“I saw it in the hallway when I came in,” Aubrey points out, hooking a thumb over her shoulder but Stacie’s already shaking her head.

“No, not the grey one, the pink one.”

“The pink one?” Aubrey asks, a heavy weight starting to pull at her chest.

“The one she had freshman year,” Beca supplies, walking around the kitchen island to get a bottle of water from the fridge.

“I can’t find it anywhere,” Stacie says, twisting her mouth unhappily before squaring back her shoulders, almost as if shrugging off the issue. “Whatever. It’ll turn up. Let’s go watch this movie.”

Beca groans loudly so Stacie nudges the popcorn bowl towards Aubrey who happily takes it and sneaks a piece of popcorn into her mouth and when Beca wants to protest, Stacie throws an arm around the shorter woman’s shoulders and squeezes her tightly, eliciting another groan and preventing any words from coming out of her mouth.

“Let’s go!”

 

* * *

 

“Hey, just a heads up, I’m gonna miss our study session Saturday afternoon,” Aubrey says when they’re in the library packing up their things.

“Oh?” Stacie says, tries not to sound too disappointed.

“I have a thing at the aquarium,” Aubrey says offhandedly as she’s organising her post-it notes to make sure none of them fall out of her textbooks.

“I love the aquarium!” Stacie says immediately with a wide smile and Aubrey pauses.

She has to bite back her instinctual response of “yes I know”, shakes her head to clear her mind as she smiles up at Stacie.

Something flashes in the brunette’s eyes but she’s not quick enough to recognise it, and then Stacie is quirking up one side of her mouth, expression teasing and Aubrey’s very familiar with that.

“Hot date?” Stacie says.

Aubrey works hard to keep her cool, arches an eyebrow pointedly as she tries to prevent her smile from dropping. “No.”

“What else could you possibly be doing at the aquarium on a Saturday night?” Stacie teases.

“Saturday _afternoon_ ,” Aubrey corrects with an eye roll. “And it’s none of your business.”

“Aubrey…” Stacie whines and when Aubrey looks at her, Stacie is pouting and giving her puppy dog eyes.

She’s weak for a begging Stacie and with a drawn-out sigh, Aubrey gives in.

“It’s not a date. I’m going to the workout by the water thing. They’re doing pilates this week.”

Stacie frowns at the unexpected answer, her hand hovering over her bag where she’d been about to drop her notepad. “What?”

“What?”

“Why are you going to the Georgia Aquarium for pilates?” Stacie asks, eyes wide and gesticulating wildly and Aubrey suddenly realises that this is one of those things that Stacie just doesn’t remember.

“Every couple of weeks they host a workout session to raise funds, it’s called Workout by the Water,” Aubrey explains quickly and Stacie immediately lights up.

“What? That sounds so cool!”

“It is,” Aubrey says with a smile. “It’s ten dollars and you get to exercise and watch manta rays and whale sharks swim above you.”

Stacie’s eyes are wide and when Aubrey glances at her, she sees the girl almost shaking with excitement.

“Can I come?”

Aubrey opens her mouth, brows knitting together and Stacie’s face falls.

“Unless I’m intruding,” Stacie backtracks immediately. “You can say no.”

“No, you’re more than welcome to!” Aubrey says immediately, emphatically, doesn’t like Stacie’s sudden hesitance about hanging out with her, but she also isn't sure how exactly to phrase her specific objection. “It’s just…”

Stacie’s staring at her, still nervous and it sends a pang of hurt through Aubrey.

“I don’t know if pilates is for you,” Aubrey says, forces a teasing smile onto her face.

“You don’t think I’ll like it?” Stacie asks, face scrunching up as she tries to figure out what could possibly lead Aubrey to that conclusion.

“Fitness wise,” Aubrey says and Stacie gapes at her in surprise and affront and Aubrey laughs genuinely then.

“Isn’t pilates like fancy stretching? How hard can it be?” Stacie says dismissively and Aubrey has a sharp sense of déjà vu as she clamps her mouth shut, knows that arguing the point will just make Stacie’s competitive streak flare up and lead her to want to prove herself even more.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Aubrey says, zipping up her bookbag as Stacie does the same.

“So is that a yes?” Stacie says after scoffing at Aubrey’s words.

“It’s a public event, you’re free to go,” Aubrey taunts and Stacie glares at her. “Yes.”

“Awesome,” Stacie says, with a satisfied smile.

“Do you want me to pick you up?” Aubrey asks, pointedly ignoring Stacie’s victorious expression as she shrugs on her jacket.

“Is this the full Aubrey Posen date experience?” Stacie teases cheekily.

“You wish,” Aubrey quips immediately, tries to ignore the tight feeling in her chest that’s become her new constant companion.

“Maybe I do,” Stacie says softly and Aubrey snaps her head up to look at Stacie, finds the brunette staring at her with a serious expression.

Something in her eyes must give Stacie pause because she frowns quickly before masking it with a lopsided smile.

“Stacie?”

“I’ll meet you there,” Stacie says with a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “But I’d appreciate a ride back.”

“Sure,” Aubrey says, trying to shake off the sudden concern she feels.

“This was nice today,” Stacie says, gesturing vaguely to the library table they’re in the process of abandoning, Aubrey for a late class and Stacie for dinner.

“We didn’t do anything special,” Aubrey comments but her eyes are sparkling and it makes Stacie’s awkward smile transform into a genuine one.

“Still, nice.”

“See you tomorrow?” Aubrey asks, eyes locked on Stacie’s.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

 

* * *

 

When Ashley walks past Stacie and Chloe’s room, the door is wide open and she glances inside more out of habit than anything and almost has a heart attack when the room isn’t empty despite Stacie mentioning she’d be in the lab all day and Chloe off to meet her advisor.

“What are you doing?” Ashley says, clearing her throat after her voice comes out a little shrill while she tries to get her racing heartrate under control.

Aubrey looks up, eyes wide, clearly caught doing something she shouldn’t be and Ashley’s eyes trail down Aubrey’s arm where she’s grasping a familiar pink coat.

“I—nothing,” Aubrey tries to say but Ashley frowns at the coat and Aubrey immediately drops it onto the bed.

“What are you doing with Stacie’s coat?”

Aubrey crosses her arms, face annoyingly blank.

“Are you stealing it?”

“No!” Aubrey exclaims, indignant at the insinuation before remembering she’s been caught somewhere she shouldn’t be with an item that doesn’t belong to her and her affront dies down. “I’m returning it.”

“We’ve been looking for it everywhere,” Ashley says.

“I know.”

“Why did you even have it?” Ashley asks and Aubrey quickly realises she’s not going to get out of this with any ease so her gaze flickers to the coat and back to Ashley, making a quick decision.

“Okay,” Aubrey says, nodding once and Ashley’s frown deepens. “I’ll tell you but not here.”

Ashley hesitates, confused and worried about Aubrey’s strange behaviour but she relents, leads Aubrey towards the room she shares with Jessica and they’re silent as they make their way towards it.

“Oh,” Aubrey murmurs when she sees Jessica bent over her desk, focused intently on what is presumably homework, and she has to bite her tongue to not mutter something additionally snarky.

“I’m going to tell her anyway,” Ashley says, gesturing to the girl who hadn’t even noticed them come in due to the headphones covering her ears. Ashley grabs a t-shirt from the pile of laundry on their pushed-together beds and chucks it at Jessica, smiling triumphantly when it hits her shoulder and hangs there.

“Ashley, what the—oh! Aubrey, hi!” Jessica’s frown eases as soon as she sets eyes on Aubrey, smiling brightly.

“Hi,” Aubrey gives with a tense smile that immediately sets off alarm bells in Jessica’s brain.

“What’s up? What are you doing here?” she asks, smile still wide but some of the cheer more contained.

“She has some explaining to do,” Ashley says.

“What for?”

“I caught her sneaking around in Chloe and Stacie’s room.”

“How did you even get into the house? We lock the door now,” Jessica explains with a playful smile, referring to an incident the year prior where a freshman fraternity pledge had walked into the Bella house and stolen all their toilet paper after finding out the Bellas had a bad habit of leaving the front door unlocked.

“I have a key,” Aubrey explains, considers reaching into her jeans pocket to show them but both girls nod, the idea not at all outlandish considering she’d been their captain and was still, despite Chloe’s budding friendship with Beca, Beale best friend number 1.

“She says she was returning Stacie’s coat. The pink one.”

“The one we’ve been looking for for ages?”

“Yeah,” Ashley confirms before turning back to Aubrey. “Why did _you_ have it?”

“She left it at my place,” Aubrey says reluctantly, knows she won’t get out of their questioning because for as much as Ashley and Jessica blend into the background, they’re very perceptive and Aubrey also knows that they see a lot more than they let on.

“Why didn’t you say something? She’s been moaning about it since forever,” Ashley says with a sigh, finally dropping onto the bed now that the mystery has been partially solved.

Jessica sees Aubrey hesitate, sees how she’s digging the nail on her thumb into her middle finger and it’s enough of a fidget for Jessica to hone in on, eyes narrowing. Ashley may seem content with Aubrey’s explanation, but Jessica’s going to need more information.

“So why did you sneak into the house to put it back? Why not just give it to her?” Jessica asks and Aubrey’s easy expression drops, face completely devoid of any emotion as she holds eye contact with Jessica.

“She doesn’t remember that I have it.”

“What does that even—?”

“Oh,” Jessica interrupts Ashley. “ _Oh_.”

“What?” Ashley asks impatiently, looking between the two.

“She’s never been to your place, has she?”

“Not recently, no,” Aubrey says and it’s all the confirmation Jessica needs.  

“What’s going on?” Ashley asks loudly, is getting fed up with the subtext-heavy conversation happening between the two blondes and how out of the loop it’s making her feel.

Jessica shoots Aubrey a look, nudges her head to Ashley, implicitly ordering her to explain.

“Stacie left it at my place last year when she bought her new coat, the grey one, and said I could hold onto it because my place has more space than her closet here.”

“Last year?”

“Before the accident,” Jessica whispers.

“I didn’t know you guys hung out,” Ashley says, trying to see if that sparks more but Aubrey clenches her jaw and doesn’t say anything else.

“Why doesn’t Stacie remember that?” Jessica asks softly and Aubrey shakes her head, shrugs.

“You guys did more than hang out, didn’t you?” Ashley asks, the picture becoming clearer and Aubrey’s nod is minuscule but it’s there and Ashley feels her heart breaking.

“How long?” Jessica asks carefully.

“Your first ICCA’s.”

Ashley’s mouth drops open as Jessica takes a sharp breath.

“That’s almost a year,” Ashley breathes.

“You’re the reason she switched phones last year,” Jessica says and it’s not a question but Aubrey still nods in confirmation.

“Why haven’t you told her?” Ashley says, her indignation clear even though she can’t even imagine what she’d do if she were in Aubrey’s shoes.

“I’m giving her time,” Aubrey says, crossing her arms.

“It’s been almost six months,” Jessica says softly, recognising the defence mechanism for what it is and not wanting to spook Aubrey or provoke her into lashing out, both of them more than aware of how badly that can end.

“You can’t say anything to her,” Aubrey says sharply and Ashley frowns.

“What?! Why not?”

“I’m giving her time,” Aubrey stresses.

“What if she never—?”

“Don’t—” Aubrey interrupts, holds up her hand as she closes her eyes and takes a shaky breath. “Please, don’t even say the words.”

Her voice is thick with tears and when her eyes flutter open, Ashley and Jessica can both see the tears pooling there, threatening to fall.

“Still,” Ashley presses.

“Ash,” Jessica whispers, a plea for her to be more gentle with the clearly hurting woman.

“I don’t know,” Aubrey admits softly. “I’ll figure it out.”

“Aubrey…” Jessica says, her tone soothing. “It doesn’t have to be this difficult.”

“You two have to promise me that you won’t say anything to her,” Aubrey says sharply, her harsh tone softened considerably by her unshed tears.

“How do we explain the coat?”

“Say you found it in the basement,” Aubrey says.

“Nobody ever goes down there,” Ashley points out.

“Exactly,” Aubrey says and she can see that Ashley wants to protest some more so she looks at Jessica, finds the girl staring at her with so much compassion that she feels her throat close up. “Please.”

“Okay,” Jessica says, nodding in agreement even though every instinct tells her it’s the wrong thing to do. “I promise.”

Ashley stays defiantly quiet when Aubrey turns to her with an arched eyebrow, but then she glances at Jessica and the girl is shooting her a sad look, urging her to comply so Ashley sighs and says, “Promise.”

“Thank you.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

"Good morning."

Stacie smiles, burying her face into her pillow when she feels fingertips drag up her spine.

"Hmm," she hums, clearing her throat as she basks in the touch, moaning softly when lips follow the trail. "Good morning."

Hair tickles her neck before a series of kisses are pressed there, a soft scrape of teeth and Stacie finds herself leaning into the touch, twisting onto her back.

The kisses stop and she whines in complaint when the lips are no longer on her skin, eyelashes fluttering as she slowly opens her eyes, the petulant set of her mouth softening into a smile when she finds golden green eyes looking down at her.

Aubrey's lips twitch and Stacie finds herself staring at those inviting lips, wanting nothing more than to kiss them with her own and her waking brain is slow but she still wraps an arm around Aubrey and pulls her down.

Aubrey easily drops from the hand keeping her propped up, a breathless chuckle falling from her lips before Stacie swallows the sound with her mouth.

They trade lazy kisses and Aubrey's eyes close as she moans when Stacie pushes the hair away from her face, fingers buried in the blonde locks and cradling her head closely.

She can feel the burning sensation of breathlessness burning in her chest but she can't stop kissing Aubrey's lips, becoming almost frantic in her efforts to prolong their kiss.

Aubrey's fingers curl and tighten around her hip before she rips away with a gasp, lungs desperate for air but she's back almost immediately, kissing Stacie again before she has a chance to catch her breath and Stacie has to reluctantly pull Aubrey's lips from hers, fingers scraping along Aubrey's scalp.

Aubrey's breathing hard so she doesn't try to kiss Stacie again, shifts so she can bury her face in Stacie's neck and it makes her smile when the woman nuzzles the skin there and presses a quick, chaste kiss just above her pulse point.

"I've missed you," Stacie says.

"I've missed you too," Aubrey murmurs.  

The sheets are pooled at their waists and Stacie feels no shame in how hard she's staring at every inch of Aubrey's skin glowing under the warm sunlight streaming into her bedroom.

"I love you," Aubrey says, lifting her head enough to meet her eyes.

"Yeah?" Stacie teases, lips pulled into a coy smile that has Aubrey smiling and nodding.

Aubrey trails her fingertips along Stacie's collarbone, curls them around her neck, waiting for the inevitable soft sigh.

"Always," Aubrey confirms and Stacie smiles, surges forward to capture Aubrey's lips in a quick kiss.

"Good," she mumbles against her.

"That so?"

"Mhm-hmm," Stacie nods.

"Why's that?"

"Because I love you too," Stacie says and Aubrey smile is so wide, her eyes so warm that Stacie thinks she can drown in them forever.

"Do you?" Aubrey taunts, settling over Stacie again.

"Yup," she says with a sharp nod. "And don't you ever forget it."

Aubrey laughs and Stacie closes her eyes for a second to commit the sound to memory.

A door slams downstairs and Stacie frowns, eyes snapping open and when she sits up in bed and looks around, she's no longer in Aubrey's bed, warm from the sunlight and her touch but back in her bed at the Bella house.

She faintly registers Chloe's concerned voice calling out her name but she's desperately trying to grasp at the rapidly dwindling dream until she can't remember anything, the only remaining feeling of warmth in her chest unsettling her.

 

* * *

 

“I have something for you,” Aubrey says as soon as she’s settled in the chair opposite Stacie and the girl eagerly looks up, pen falling away from her hand as she excitedly drops her pen to curl her fingers around the edge of the table, fingertips restlessly drumming against the wood.

Aubrey chuckles softly, twisting and reaching into her bag before coming back with a gift and handing it to Stacie.

“What’s this?” Stacie asks, voice lilting as she tosses the brightly-wrapped package from hand to hand, trying to get a feel for the weight and contents.

Aubrey’s already feeling hesitant about giving her this gift but then her heart really jumps into her throat when she sees Stacie handling the present, eyes wide and her hand itching closer, ready to catch the gift should Stacie accidentally drop it.

“Is it fragile?” Stacie asks, picking up on Aubrey’s nervousness and already being more careful.

“Yes.”

“Oh, sorry,” Stacie says, immediately ceasing her movements and carefully setting the box on the table between them. “What is this?” Stacie repeats.

“It’s your birthday present.”

“My birthday’s not until tomorrow.”

“I know.”

“Are you not coming to the party at the house tomorrow?” Stacie asks, not sure why the idea bothers her so much, her throat closing up even though she’s actively fighting the disappointed feeling blooming in her chest.

“Of course I am,” Aubrey says immediately, brow furrowing.

“Okay…” Stacie says, realises how irrational her reaction had been and forcing a smile to move past the absolute relief she feels. “I thought this was your way of saying you weren’t gonna make it.”

“I am gonna make it,” Aubrey reaffirms. “I just thought I’d give this to you now before things get crazy.”

“Crazy, huh?” Stacie murmurs, inspecting the gift after shooting Aubrey a teasing look for her word choice.

“You know what? I’ll give it to you tomorrow,” Aubrey says, exasperatedly reaching across the table.

“No!” Stacie immediately counters, grabbing the gift before Aubrey can get her hands on it and holding it against her chest protectively, out of Aubrey’s reach. “Thank you. I’ll take it now.”

Aubrey looks sceptical but retracts her hand and Stacie puts the gift back on the table, albeit closer to herself than before.

She runs her fingertip along the balloon-patterned wrapping paper, smiling at how neatly it’s wrapped.

“This looks fancy…” Stacie comments, unaware of the eyes intently following her every move. When Aubrey doesn’t respond, Stacie looks up and they make eye contact. “You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“Of course I did,” Aubrey scoffs. “It’s your birthday and 21 is a big one.”

“Especially since I almost didn’t make it,” Stacie jokes and Aubrey smiles but it’s hollow, her eyes closed off and she’s missing the crinkly skin around her eyes that Stacie loves seeing when Aubrey genuinely laughs, and Stacie’s suddenly not sure what to make of Aubrey’s reaction.

“I hope you like it,” Aubrey says softly, gesturing to the gift between them.

Stacie moves her finger under the folded, taped down edge of the wrapping paper, ready to carefully peel the tape away when Aubrey’s hand shoots out to cover hers and stop it.

“No,” she says softly.

“What?” Stacie asks in alarm, freezing again.

“Don’t open it here, open it later at home,” Aubrey explains.

“Why?” Stacie’s already pouting because just knowing she has to carry around a wrapped gift that she can’t open yet will drive her mad for the rest of the day.

“Just… promise me you’ll wait until you’re home,” Aubrey insists.

“I won’t be home until dinner, Aubrey, c’mon.”

“Stacie, promise me.”

“What is it? At least tell me why I can’t open it in public.”

“Stacie…”

“Ohmygod,” Stacie breathes suddenly, eyes lighting up and a playful, incredulous smile tugging at her lips. “Did you get me a sex toy? Is that why I have to wait til I get home?”

Her voice is hushed and she leans in when she whispers the words, but the pure glee still emanates from her in waves and Aubrey’s cheeks tint red.

“No! It’s not a—” She drops her voice to a whisper. “—sex toy. Jesus, Stacie.”

“What?” Stacie asks innocently, leaning back and shrugging her shoulders. “I wouldn’t mind if it was.”

“It’s not. And I didn’t think you needed any help in that department,” Aubrey jokes, hopes that Stacie doesn’t notice how fake her following laugh is.

“Even while having a healthy amount of sex doesn’t mean I wouldn’t appreciate one.” The words make something coil uncomfortably in Aubrey’s gut but then Stacie continues with, “Also, for the record, I haven’t been… y’know.”

“What?” Aubrey asks.

“Having sex,” Stacie clarifies and Aubrey’s surprise is genuine but she remembers in time that she has to be playful and teasing about it, not strangely reassured.

“Oh?”

“It’s not for lack of offers,” Stacie says immediately, shoulders squaring back as if to force some self-confidence into herself.

“I’m sure,” Aubrey drawls with a wink but then Stacie’s body slumps, brows furrowing and she looks solemn. “What?”

“I don’t know, it just feels weird,” Stacie says with a shrug, picking at her shirt sleeve. “Wrong somehow.”

“Hm.”

“I don’t know, whatever,” Stacie says, plastering a smile onto her face even though she knows Aubrey’s not going to let her off the hook that easily.

“Maybe you should see someone,” Aubrey suggests.

“Like a shrink?” Stacie tries to clarify and when Aubrey nods, she dryly says, “Ha-ha.”

“I mean it.”

“Yeah, let me just call up my therapist and ask for a session because I’m not having sex,” Stacie sasses.

“That’s not what I mean,” Aubrey chides and they both know it. “You’re not all back to yourself and it might be worth talking to someone about.”

Stacie deflates at that, more than aware of how impossible it is to let anything pass by Aubrey so she gives in, voice taking on a weary tone.

“I’m just… I don’t know, still struggling, I guess. Which is crap because it’s been ages.”

“It’s barely been six months.”

“Ages,” Stacie repeats with a quick, teasing smile.

“Six months is not a long time. You’ve made a lot of progress in that time but that doesn’t mean you can’t still have issues,” Aubrey says emphatically, hand aching to reach out and cover Stacie’s in a reassuring gesture.

“I know. I’ll think about it,” Stacie says softly.

“I don’t want to push you,” Aubrey says then and Stacie frowns at her. “Don’t just do it because I’m annoying you about it.”

A smile flickers across Stacie’s face then, heart warming at how patient and considerate Aubrey is being with her and she can’t stop staring into Aubrey’s eyes, a fluttery feeling blooming in her chest at the captivating look there.

Aubrey looks away first, clearing her throat as her eyes dart down to the gift on the table and then Stacie shakes her head to clear her mind.

“So,” she starts, smiling as she taps her fingers against the present. “Any hints?”

“You’ll just have to be patient.”

Stacie whines pitifully as she leans in close to the gift, peering at it, the urge to lift it and shake it to determine what’s inside very strong but Aubrey had looked serious when confirming it’s fragile so Stacie’s not going to risk it.

“This is going to bug me so much.”

“I will happily take it back and bring it with me tomorrow,” Aubrey says but makes no attempts to reach for the present.

“No.”

Stacie glares at her, face still close to the gift and Aubrey chuckles at the sight, shaking her head fondly as she starts unpacking her study materials.

“I believe in you.”

“Glad someone here does,” Stacie murmurs and it draws another laugh from Aubrey.

* * *

“Hi! You made it!” Chloe exclaims when she opens the door and finds Aubrey on their doorstep, yelling over the sounds of the party in full swing behind her as she throws her arms around Aubrey.

“Yeah, I’m running a little late because I wanted to finish a paper,” Aubrey says but based on how glazed over Chloe’s eyes are when she pulls away, she knows the girl hasn’t registered any of what she’s said.

“Come in, Stacie’s been dying to talk to you,” Chloe says, sliding her hand into Aubrey’s and tugging her into the house. “Stacie!”

Chloe’s voice isn’t loud enough to carry over the thumping music, but a couple of guys nearby hear her and start chanting Stacie’s name until the whole house is calling out for Stacie.

“I’m here!” Stacie yells from the back porch and then heads turn to follow the source of the original chanting voices until they’re all staring at Chloe and by proxy Aubrey.

Stacie’s smile drops as she makes eye contact with Aubrey, a determined look falling across her face as she stalks through the crowd, people easily stepping aside to let her through.

Chloe lets go of Aubrey’s hand, eyes widening and Aubrey knows she’s considering cowering behind Aubrey, unaware that Stacie’s intense look is meant for Aubrey and not her.

Stacie stops right in front of Aubrey, hand slipping into the one Chloe had been holding moments before and squeezing softly. “Come with me, please.”

Aubrey shoots a worried look over her shoulder at Chloe but the girl just shrugs and shakes her head before a sad, rueful smile takes over her face and she slowly lifts her hand to wave Aubrey away as if she’s never going to see her again.

Aubrey follows Stacie up the stairs, flinches when they turn into the bedroom she shares with Chloe and Stacie flips on the lights.

“I don’t want to seem ungrateful because of course it’s the thought that counts and I appreciate you getting me a gift but, like, an orb?” Stacie starts, letting go of Aubrey’s hand and moving over to her desk, reaching for the small box and lifting the orb out of it. “You made it seem like… I don’t know.”

“Did you turn it on?” Aubrey asks, confused more than disappointed that Stacie doesn’t like the gift that she'd been working on for almost a year with the blind certainty that it was going to be a hit.

“What do you mean?”

“Did you turn it on?”

“I have to turn it on?”

Aubrey really frowns then, strides over to Stacie and plucks the orb from her hand, looking behind Stacie for the box it came in and reaching out with her free hand.

“Shit, it’s supposed to come with instructions,” Aubrey murmurs to herself before glancing up and making eye contact with Stacie. “It’s not just an orb.”

“Oh.”

“Can you get the lights?” Aubrey asks and Stacie doesn’t need to be told twice, eagerly stepping around Aubrey and hitting the light switch, plunging them in darkness.

Stacie hears the click of a button and a soft whirring noise before the whole room is bathed in a mockup of the night sky.

It’s hard to imagine them in the quiet peace of the milky way, especially with the loud bass of the downstairs music shaking the walls but it’s still overwhelming and Stacie’s having trouble keeping her breathing even as she looks up and around at the constellations.

The light coming from the projector is enough for Aubrey to make out Stacie’s face of wonder and she doesn’t try to suppress her satisfied smile.

“It’s not…” Stacie starts to say but she stops, frowning, still looking up and twisting her head to analyse the stars. “Current.”

“No,” Aubrey says, knows what she’s trying to say. “It’s not just a projector, it’s a star map.”

“You got me a star map?” Stacie asks, tearing her eyes away from the ceiling to look at Aubrey and Aubrey’s not sure if it’s the shifting light or if there are actually tears in Stacie’s eyes.

“Yes.”

“What am I looking at?”

“The sky on your tenth birthday.”

“This is—Aubrey, this is too much,” Stacie whispers, voice shaky.

“It’s not,” Aubrey says, shaking her head but Stacie moves closer to be able to see her better.

“You did this for me.”

“It’s amazing what you can get online these days,” Aubrey tries to play off but Stacie’s shaking her head and those are definitely tears in her eyes.

“How did you know—” Stacie has to stop, breath hitching in her throat.

“You told me once that one of your happiest memories is when your dad got you a telescope for your tenth birthday and you spent all night outside looking at the stars together.”

“I can’t believe you did this for me.”

“I know you sometimes still have trouble, despite that brave face you put on for everyone and Barden has crazy light pollution—your words, not mine—so I thought this could help you when you’re feeling overwhelmed.”

“I don’t even know what to say,” Stacie whispers reverently. “Aubrey, _thank you_.”

“You’re welcome, Stacie,” she says, and her fingers itch to wipe away Stacie’s tears and it takes all her willpower to keep them by her side. “I’m glad you like it.”

“I love it.”

They don’t say anything else, stand in silent and stare up at the stars until the chanting starts up downstairs again and Stacie reluctantly agrees when Aubrey offers to turn off the projector and rejoin the party.

 

* * *

 

"You would come back for me?" Stacie teases, holding her textbook up against her face to shield her mouth to not give away how widely she's smiling.

"No," Aubrey snaps back immediately.

"Liar," Stacie throws back.

"Not _just_ for you," Aubrey amends, crossing her arms and Stacie melts at the sight of the determined set of Aubrey's jaw so she tosses her book onto the coffee table and crawls over.

Aubrey defiantly doesn't look at Stacie even as she settles on her lap, a knee on either side and hands trailing up Aubrey's arms to curl around her neck, thumb under her chin urging Aubrey's head up.

"Aubrey," Stacie says, voice soft and when Aubrey finally looks at her, she can see how vulnerable Aubrey feels, how hesitant she is. "Baby."

"I don't want to..." She pauses to find the right words. "I don't want to put this on you."

"You're not," Stacie says emphatically but Aubrey still looks worried. "But I factor into the decision, don't I?"

Aubrey opens her mouth to answer before shutting it again, and it seems like she's trying to figure out the right answer and Stacie's heart skips a beat at how considerate Aubrey is being of her feelings.

"If you say no I'm going to be upset," Stacie whispers and Aubrey's shoulders slump as she chuckles once.

"Of course you do."

Stacie smiles widely at the confirmation, leaning down to kiss Aubrey softly, sliding a hand over her hair and tugging at the elastic holding Aubrey's low bun in place until blonde strands tumble free and she can run her fingers through them.

"Of course I want to stay close to you," Aubrey admits breathily, eyes closed and head tilted back into Stacie's touch.

"So what are you so worried about?" Stacie asks.

"I'm making decisions about my future with you in mind," Aubrey says. "That's..."

"I'm making decisions about _my_ future with you in mind," Stacie says and that makes Aubrey's eyes snap open to look at her, the surprise clear. "Why is that so surprising?"

"I—I don't know," Aubrey says and Stacie can appreciate her honesty.

"I don't want you to resent me," Stacie says, in the spirit of being honest.

"Why would I?"

"Because you're making concessions for me," Stacie admits and before Aubrey can even protest it, Stacie continues. "You're amazing and you could go anywhere for grad school and you're choosing to stay here. For me."

" _With_ you," Aubrey counters immediately because the distinction is important and Stacie finally understands it. "I'm choosing to stay here to be with you."

"Aubrey Posen you romantic," Stacie declares and before Aubrey can even react she kisses her firmly, tongue swiping over her lower lip and eliciting a moan that allows Stacie to deepen the kiss.

Aubrey's fingers dig into her thighs as she lets herself be kissed mercilessly.

"You're—" Aubrey tries to say when Stacie moves away from her lips and down the corner of her jaw, nipping at the skin there. "You're making plans with me in mind?" she finally manages, a moan following when Stacie bites down on her neck.

"Took you long enough," Stacie murmurs, flattening her tongue over the skin.

"What does that mean."

"Grad school," Stacie gives, smiling when one of Aubrey's hands moves up her back to fist in her hair to keep Stacie's lips attached to her neck. "Nowhere too cold. Big cities so you can find a job."

"Stacie," Aubrey moans when she moves down to the spot where Aubrey's neck meets her shoulder. " _Stacie_."

"What?" Stacie asks impatiently, finally lifting her head, annoyed that she has to stop paying attention to Aubrey's soft skin.

Aubrey surges forwards and kisses Stacie harshly and she's a little ashamed of the surprised squeaky sound that she makes in response. Aubrey curls her hands behind Stacie's thighs and in one smooth move, she has her pinned down under her body.

As soon as her back hits the couch, Stacie sits up in a cold sweat, eyes snapping open but not seeing anything in the darkness of her bedroom.

"Stace?" Chloe says, sitting up slowly and rubbing her left eye as her right hand reaches to turn on the lights. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Stacie says, can't shake the feeling of hollowness in her chest as the dream seeps from her mind like sand slipping through her fingers. "Nothing, Chlo, I'm fine, go back to sleep."

 

* * *

 

"You're being loud," Chloe says softly, still staring intently at the television and the words give Stacie pause, make her frown as she twists onto her back, keeping her head in Chloe's lap.

"I'm not talking," Stacie says, sighing softly when Chloe scrapes her scalp with her fingernails before dragging her fingers through Stacie's hair.

"Still, loud," Chloe says, her other hand tapping Stacie's forehead lightly. "What's up?"

"Just thinking," Stacie says, staring up at the ceiling in contemplation, trying to sort out her thoughts before she speaks.

"What's goin' on in here?" Cynthia Rose says as she joins them in the living room and Chloe reaches for the remote and pauses her show as the woman settles on the other couch, Jessica and Ashley not far behind.

"We're talking," Chloe says.

"Well if it's serious—" Jessica says, already getting up again.

"No, it's not," Stacie says, waving her back down. "You guys can stick around. I wanted to ask Chloe something but we might as well make this a group thing."

"If you're sure," Cynthia Rose says carefully, offering Stacie the out and she's grateful for it but she doesn't take it, smiles at Cynthia Rose as a thank you.

"What's up?"

"I was just wondering, for you guys, if you had amnesia, would you rather start fresh or know everything you're missing?" Stacie asks, sitting up and dragging a hand through her unruly hair, looking at Chloe to implore her to answer first.

"If the situation was like yours?"

"Yeah, partial, not full amnesia like not remembering your own name and stuff," Stacie explains with a quick smile and a shrug.

"I don't know, I think I'd like to know. Even if it was just a few lost years I'd want to know. The past would still make me, me," Chloe says after mulling it over for a bit and Stacie nods in understanding before turning to Cynthia Rose, her question implicit.

"I wouldn't," Cynthia Rose says without missing a beat, surprising them. "Leave the past in the past, I say. If it's important, it'll come back."

"That's not how memory works, though," Ashley cuts in a little harshly, her fervor unexpected and drawing attention to her.

Jessica opens her mouth to respond but Stacie shakes her head.

"No, she's right," Stacie explains. "Our brains are just unfair like that, you don't get to pick what's important and what gets to say."

"Explains why you forgot us for those first couple of weeks, huh?" Chloe teases Stacie gently, desperately wanting to get rid of Stacie's sad look, nudging Stacie's thigh with her foot and it does the trick, drawing a quick giggle and making Stacie grab Chloe's foot to prevent any further action.

"Well I'd want to know. Everything, no matter how painful," Ashley declares, dragging them back to the conversation at hand.

"So would I, without a doubt," Jessica adds.

"Strong opinion," Cynthia Rose comments and they both nod.

"I'd hate to be in the dark about anything. It would be such a betrayal for me to not know stuff about myself and have to find out later."

"Ashley," Jessica warns lowly.

"What if that stuff never comes back, though? Then you're burdened for nothing," Cynthia Rose says, even as she scrutinises the two with a careful eye.

"How about you, Stace?" Jessica asks, desperately trying to get Cynthia Rose's attention off them.

"What about me?" Stacie asks, not quite following.

"Would you have wanted to know?"

"Didn't really have a choice about it," Stacie says, shrugs.

"But if you'd had?" Chloe prods carefully.

"I don't know," Stacie says, crossing her legs under her to buy her some more time as she considers it. "I don't think so?"

"Really?" Ashley asks loudly and when Stacie glances at her friends, she can see that she's taken all of them by surprise, even Cynthia Rose.

"Yeah. Like, okay, I love you guys, alright?" she starts emphatically. "And knowing that I couldn't remember you guys sucks but..."

"But?" Chloe encourages and the guilt that's been steadily eating away at Stacie lessens a little because she knows she's safe with them.

"My mom meant well, when she told me, but it was way more stressful trying to remember and being told all this stuff that I was just expected to know rather than just letting it come back on its own. Plus, the memories did come back, so, you know."

She shifts her legs out from under her, planting her feet on the couch and wrapping her arms around her legs almost protectively. She feels relieved to have finally said it, but it doesn't make her feel any less guilty for telling her Bellas that she'd rather her mother hadn't told her about everything she'd forgotten.

"I mean, of course, then there's always the question of whether you guys telling me is what caused my memory of it to come back or if it would've come back on its own without any help, but it's still not like I—"

Before she has a chance to spiral down into that thought process, Chloe reaches for her arm and yanks and Stacie goes crashing into Chloe's body as she tightly wraps Stacie in a lopsided hug.

"You know we don't blame you, right?" Chloe says. "It's not your fault you got into that car accident—"

"And your insurance agrees," Cynthia Rose cuts in and Stacie lets out a quick laugh.

"—and it's not your fault you had amnesia."

"Have," Stacie corrects.

"Have, had, you know what I mean. We love you," Chloe proclaims, squeezing Stacie tighter until she feels her go pliant in her arms and give into the hug.

"Get in here," Stacie manages in a breathless croak and Jessica squeals as she leaps onto the couch and throws her arms around Chloe and Stacie, Ashley and Cynthia Rose not far behind.

"Ohh, did Cynthia Rose finally get that lesbian orgy she has been begging for?" Flo says, stopping just past the threshold as she looks at the pile of women on the couch.

Cynthia Rose makes a sound of disappointment. "No."

"We're hugging Stacie!" Chloe says, voice muffled.

Flo is instantly on them, joining the group hug, causing Stacie to get even more smushed into the couch but she can't help but laugh.

She can't really breathe and her bad leg is starting to go numb but having the Bellas' unconditional love helps, and as much as she hates herself for losing large chunks of her memories with them, she's happy she got most of them back.

The healing had been rough and she'd been angry for so long, at the world and at the injustice and at herself, at the betrayal of her own body.

She'd been in the hospital for nearly the whole summer and the Bellas, despite Stacie not remembering much of her two years with them, had all rallied around her, taking turns to stay with her for a week at a time and keep her entertained during the slow recovery and countless hours of physical therapy.

She'd retained some clear memories, like of auditions and Hood night, and the rest had slowly come back, all the rehearsals, the crushing amount of cardio, the days on end spent in the library, partying with the Bellas. She'd gotten most of it back, save for some very specific events, like actually winning the ICCA's that first year or her last week of summer break between freshman and sophomore year, but Stacie's willing to accept that she's never going to get everything back and that everybody has missing memories so why should she be any different?

By the time the school year started, she'd gotten all of her memories back but that didn't stop Chloe from worrying. The sleeping arrangements had to be shuffled anyway to accommodate Flo and Chloe had unceremoniously declared that Stacie was rooming with her so she could keep an eye on her, citing that she had more free time than anybody else and that it was, therefore, better for Stacie to stay close to her in case anything went badly.

The words had almost made Stacie cry, made her realise how much she loved all of these girls and she'd covered up her vulnerability with a quip along the lines of "are you sure you picked the right brunette to keep an eye on?" — a comment (and the light blush it brought to Chloe's cheeks) that had not gone unnoticed by anyone _except_ Beca.

Speaking of Beca—

"What is going on in here?"

"Comforting Stacie," Ashley says.

"Can she even breathe?" Beca asks, stepping closer but not joining the group hug.

A muffled "no" comes from the pile of bodies and the girls start reluctantly disentangling from each other.

"You okay?" Beca asks as she leans over the back of the couch to peer down at Stacie who's remained sprawled on her back, most of her hair hanging off the edge of the couch as she breathes in deeply.

"I'm great," Stacie says with a lopsided smile.

"Then why'd you need comforting?" Beca says, arching an eyebrow.

She can see the badly-concealed worry in Beca's eyes and it warms her heart, and she wants to say something but she knows Beca would just brush it off so she instead goes for a teasing tone. "Aww, Becs, you care! Come gimme a hug."

Before Beca can protest, Stacie quickly sits up and wraps an arm around Beca's middle, hoisting her over the back of the couch so she comes crashing into Stacie's body, the girl wrapping long arms tightly around Beca as she calls out "group hug!" and the girls happily comply, piling on top of them again as Beca tries to voice her dissent but her words are muffled on account of her face being pressed into Stacie's chest.

The only clear sound is a breathless "NO!" after Fat Amy comes in and finds them all hugging and screams "Aw yeah group hug!" before flinging herself on top and Stacie doesn't stop laughing until after they slide off the couch and reluctantly break apart, Beca gasping for air, betrayal in her eyes clear when Chloe looks more preoccupied with making sure they haven't hurt Stacie.

 

* * *

 

"I shouldn't," Aubrey says, looking down at the row of shots in front of them, biting her lip and Stacie wants to laugh at how adorable she looks while losing the battle against herself.

"Why not?" she tries to reason.

"Because I can't be hungover tomorrow," Aubrey almost whines. "I have two papers and finals to still study for, and—"

"We study together and I know how prepared you are so shut up and take the shot, Aubrey," Stacie interrupts, sliding the small glass of liquid over to her, glancing over her shoulder to see that the other Bellas have already taken their shots.

She absentmindedly licks her wrist while turning back, shakes some salt onto her wet skin but before she knows what's happening, Aubrey reaches for her arm and pulls it close, tongue flattening against Stacie's wrist to lick the salt off before she throws back the shot of tequila, eyes sparkling dangerously as she sucks on a lime wedge.

Stacie's not sure what's just happened, her brain completely blank and her wrist still tingling from where Aubrey had licked it and Aubrey daintily plucks the lime from her mouth and sets it in the shot glass before turning to Stacie with an arched eyebrow.

Holding eye contact, she lifts Stacie's wrist to her mouth again, licking at the skin there before shaking some salt onto the sticky skin and Stacie can't actually believe this is really happening.

"Take the shot, Stacie," Aubrey commands, voice low and a slow grin spreads across her face as she finally starts connecting dots.

"Hm, no," Stacie says, shaking her head and Aubrey tilts her head quizzically. Stacie wipes her wrist clean on her leg, using the same hand to reach for Aubrey's forearm, gently turning it over and licking the inside of Aubrey's wrist before shaking some salt there.

Aubrey's biting down on her lower lip again, and Stacie's has to focus on what she's doing. She smirks as she dips her head, tongue licking at Aubrey's wrist, lingering for far longer than is necessary before she throws back her shot and grabs a lime wedge to suck on.

Aubrey's gaze drops to her mouth, still biting down on her own lower lip and Stacie's ready to throw caution to the wind but then she glances over Aubrey's shoulder and sees the rest of the Bellas dancing and knows that whatever she wants to do, she can't do it here.

Aubrey's eyebrows knit together and she twists to follow Stacie's gaze, expression easing at the sight of the others. Aubrey slides her hand down Stacie's forearm, hooks her index finger into Stacie's bracelet and tugs softly, motioning with her head and Stacie follows the instructions, walking behind Aubrey as she leads them out of the bar.

As soon as they're outside, Aubrey's pulling her closer, fingers curled into Stacie's white shirt where it's knotted under her boobs and tugging again, urging her closer and Stacie easily steps into Aubrey's space, searching her eyes for any sign of resistance.

Aubrey smiles, lifts her head and gently brushes her lips against Stacie's.

It's like the touch sets her alive because she can't help but wrap an arm around Aubrey's waist and haul her up against her body, pressing harder against Aubrey's lips and kissing her back passionately.

Aubrey sighs softly, almost in relief as she kisses Stacie, hand drifting down Stacie's body to run her fingers along the smooth skin of her outer thigh, so much skin exposed by her shorts.

Stacie feels like her brain is swimming with want, blinded by Aubrey and can only focus on her, on touching her and kissing her and when they part for air, she can't drag her lips away, her fingers practically ripping away the Bella scarf tied around Aubrey's neck so she can replace it with her lips.

The moan she gets in response is emboldening and Stacie sucks hard at the skin there as Aubrey's nails dig into her shoulder.

"We—" Aubrey gasps when Stacie bites down. "Room, now."

"Good thinking," Stacie says and then makes no move to deattach from her skin.

Aubrey reaches up to tangle her hand in Stacie's hair and pull her away, but one look at Stacie's swollen lips and she's derailed as well, crashing their lips together in a heated kiss.

Stacie blinks and suddenly they're in a hotel room and Aubrey's pressing her into the door, lips insistent on hers and hands roaming over her body, fingers curling around Stacie's knee and pulling her leg up and Stacie happily lifts it, smiles when Aubrey's fingers trail down her leg and brush over the Bella scarf tied around her ankle. 

Aubrey shivers and Stacie takes control, dropping her leg and grabbing onto Aubrey's hips to push her backwards, all the way to the bed and she's a little embarrassed by how she shoves Aubrey down but then Aubrey goes sprawling onto the mattress, blonde hair spread out around her head and a dangerous smile on her face as she beckons Stacie closer.

She wastes no time in stepping out of her shoes and crawling over Aubrey, kissing her hotly, hands fumbling with the button of her jeans.

Aubrey's hands bump against hers but then she shoos them away and undoes her own jeans and Stacie's all too happy in helping shimmy the tight fabric down Aubrey's legs. When she makes her way back up, Aubrey grabs onto the hem of her tank top and yanks it up over her head along with her white shirt, doesn't even bother untying it and Stacie gets tangled in fabric, crashing facedown onto the mattress and Aubrey's breathless laugh fills the air around them.

She's suddenly free of entanglement and when she sits up, she's suddenly alone, wide awake and back in her own bed.

She's panting heavily, trying to catch her breath and she presses a hand against her chest before registering the quiet of the room, and how unusual that is.

"Chlo?" she whispers, has to clear her throat.

"Yeah?" Chloe whispers back, not a trace of sleep in her voice.

"You awake?"

"Yup."

"How much of that did you hear?"

"I could go downstairs if you need me to," Chloe offers which isn't what she asked but it's answer enough.

"Did you, uhm, hear me say a name?" Stacie asks after a long silence.

"No."

"Chloe..."

"No," she confirms. "Just a lot of—" Chloe makes the most obnoxious moaning sounds and Stacie's grateful for the dark of their bedroom as her cheeks flush.

Chloe keeps making the sounds, increasingly more exaggerated until she breaks, bursts into giggles and Stacie can't help but join her.

"Jesus, Chloe," Stacie groans, sitting back down and burying her face in her pillow.

"It was like a porno," Chloe says around a giggle and Stacie whines pitifully. "Yeah just like that."

"Okay!" Stacie exclaims. "I'm going downstairs."

"If you masturbate on the couch please tell me which one so I don't sit there tomorrow," Chloe teases as Stacie grabs her sheets to take with her.

She flings a pillow at Chloe before making her way out of the room, closing the door on a loud squeal and giggles.

The long couch is comfortable enough and she easily settles there, pulls her sheets over her shoulder as she curls up but as soon as she closes her eyes, her brain is assaulted by images of Aubrey's long legs and smooth, pale skin.

 

* * *

 

“I have an issue,” Stacie says, bursting into the bedroom without knocking.

"Brave of you to barge in here without knocking," Cynthia Rose quips as she swivels around in her desk chair.

"I saw Flo leave earlier," Stacie comments before flopping down backwards onto the pushed-together twin beds. "I need your help."

"I've fantasized about this moment a lot but I never thought you'd look so troubled," Cynthia Rose flirts but Stacie just lifts her head and shoots her a miserable look. "What's wrong?"

"Do you think Aubrey's gay?" Stacie asks, purposefully keeping her voice level as she stares up at the ceiling.

"Yes."

"Really?" Stacie asks in surprise, shifting onto her elbows to look at Cynthia Rose.

"Yes."

"I don't mean do you hope Aubrey's gay, I mean do you think she actually is?"

"She's gay," Cynthia Rose says plainly but Stacie still doesn't look like she believes her. "You can ask literally anybody else and they will agree with me."

"Who else is home?" Stacie asks and Cynthia Rose has to hide a smile at how adamant Stacie is being.

Stacie climbs off the bed and disappears as quickly as she'd come in and Cynthia Rose has to rush to follow her as Stacie calls out into the hallway.

Stacie follows the sound of music to Jessica and Ashley's room and Cynthia Rose yells "Incoming!" just in time for Ashley to lift her pencil off her sketchbook before Stacie drops down onto the bed between them in a rather dramatic fashion.

"Ask them," Cynthia Rose says, leaning against the doorway.

"Ask us what?" Jessica says.

"Do you think Aubrey likes girls?" Stacie finally asks after a long silence, lifting her hand and biting nervously on the nail of her index finger.

She's nervously waiting for an answer but the angle isn't great so she misses the way Ashley and Jessica both tense at the question, eyes snapping to each other while they seemingly have a non-verbal conversation.

"Yes," Jessica finally says.

"Really?"

"Definitely," Ashley confirms.

"Why do you ask?" Jessica prompts because she'd have thought their answer would come as a relief but Stacie seems even more torn up than before.

"Oh, you know, just wondering," she tries to brush off but none of them are taking it.

"Stacie," Cynthia Rose says and Stacie tries to look at her, realises she can't do that from her current position so she sits up, leans back against the headboard so she can look at all three girls.

"I had a... dream. About her," Stacie admits slowly, like the words are being dragged out of her.

"What kind of dream?" Ashley asks but the pull of her lips is enough to imply she knows exactly what Stacie's talking about and even Cynthia Rose has stepped closer, grabbing Jessica's desk chair and twisting it around to straddle it and cross her arms over the back.

"A sex dream," Stacie admits, expecting mockery or scorn but all the finds is Cynthia Rose looking at her excitedly and Ashley and Jessica looking at her as if they've just witnessed a miracle. "What?!"

"So what's the problem?" Jessica asks.

"What do you mean?"

"Why do you look so worried?"

"Because I might have feelings?"

"For her?" Ashley asks.

"I don't know—whatever—maybe? It's not a big deal," Stacie tries to deflect, shrugging and starting to crawl off the bed but Ashley grips her arm and yanks her back. "Ow!"

"Do you or not?" Ashley asks insistently.

"Yes?" Stacie admits in a small voice and both Ashley and Jessica exhale loudly, sitting back at the revelation and she can't quite understand that.

Cynthia Rose watches them closely, more puzzled by their strange behaviour than by Stacie's seemingly unexpected feelings for their former captain.

"And like sometimes..." Stacie continues before she can stop herself.

"Sometimes?" Cynthia Rose urges.

"Sometimes Aubrey looks at me in a way that..." She falls quiet then, staring at a nondescript point in the corner of the room, deep in thought.

"In a way that what?" Jessica whispers.

"I don't know, it's ridiculous," Stacie murmurs with a weak shrug.

"What is?" Jessica prods carefully.

"Sometimes when she looks at me it feels like I'm the most important person in the world to her. And now I'm having these dreams, and, I don't know..."

The room is quiet for a beat and Stacie snaps back to reality, suddenly a little too aware of what she's just confessed and she slides back down in bed and grabs a pale green pillow to cover her face with as she screams into it.

"I'm so screwed," she says, voice muffled.

Ashley's jaw is set in determination and she opens her mouth to say something when Jessica growls softly, dragging Ashley's attention to her.

"Don't you dare," she hisses.

"Listen to her."

"You promised," Jessica murmurs under her breath and Ashley's about to counter-argue when Cynthia Rose clears her throat and they're suddenly reminded that she's there, turning to her and finding Cynthia Rose watching them with eyes narrowed with suspicion.

Something buzzes and Stacie blindly reaches for her back pocket, lifting her phone to check her message with one hand while the other one briefly lifts the pillow away from her face.

"Well okay then."

"What?" Ashley asks.

"Aubrey just cancelled on me," Stacie says, dropping her phone to her chest and the pillow back on her face. "Maybe this is a sign or something."

 

* * *

 

She has a key to the house but she doesn’t want to use it, knocks on the door and takes the opportunity to gather herself before it swings open and Stacie is standing in the doorway beaming at her.

“Hey!” she says, eyes raking down Aubrey’s body and she vaguely registers that Stacie’s checking her out but she doesn’t focus on it, mesmerised by the way Stacie is looking at her. “Come in.”

“So,” Aubrey starts as she steps over the threshold, clears her throat. “Chloe texted me a few days ago and said you were back on alcohol.”

Stacie snorts, shakes her head as she urges Aubrey to take off her coat so she can hang it up in the hall closet.

“She made it sound like some sort of birth announcement,” Aubrey says softly and then Stacie really laughs. “But anyway, I brought wine.”

“You’re a woman after my heart,” Stacie flirts and Aubrey shakes her head with an exasperated laugh. “Does it need to be chilled?”

“No,” Aubrey says, following Stacie into the living room and pulling a bottle from her bag. “It’s a red.”

Stacie’s mouth quirks at that but Aubrey doesn’t let that deter her.

“I’m not really a fan of reds,” Stacie explains, eyes settling on the bottle.  

“I have a feeling you’re going to like this one,” Aubrey says and Stacie looks wary but she doesn’t fight it, lets Aubrey move them towards the kitchen and leans against the bar as she watches Aubrey expertly move around the space, opening the special cutlery drawer and producing a corkscrew Stacie didn’t even know they owned.

“It’s mine,” Aubrey comments once she glances up and sees Stacie’s surprised look.

“Hm?”

“I bought this two years ago,” Aubrey explains.

“We only drink screw cap wine,” Stacie says with an easy grin.

“And terrible beer,” Aubrey provides as she starts twisting the corkscrew into the cork and that elicits a genuine bark of laughter from Stacie.

“It’s not my fault you’re an alcohol snob,” she teases and Aubrey simply smiles, doesn’t take the bait and with a quick twist and tug that Stacie’s suddenly very distracted by, she pulls the cork cleanly out of the bottle. “You’re lucky we even _have_ wine glasses,” Stacie murmurs, moving towards the cupboard housing them before pausing and turning to Aubrey with narrowed eyes. “Or did you buy those too?”

“No,” Aubrey says haughtily, pursing her lips together but Stacie just waits, her hand on the cupboard but not pulling it open yet. “ _No_. My captain got them when I was a sophomore.”

“Okay,” Stacie gives, pulling down two wine glasses and handing them to Aubrey.

“What do you have lined up for us tonight?” Aubrey asks while she pours wine into the glasses, gaze flickering up to Stacie’s face.

"A couple of classics," Stacie says and Aubrey just rolls her eyes good-naturedly.

"Please tell me it's not Tolkien," Aubrey throws back and Stacie wants to argue the bored tone of Aubrey's voice but she refrains.

"No, it's Lucas Film," Stacie says, taking a glass of wine from Aubrey and turning away before she can see Aubrey grimace, but she does hear the dejected sound and laughs in response. "That's what you get for letting me pick."

"I should have known better," Aubrey comments, following Stacie to the living room. She brings the bottle with her, sets it on the coffee table as she settles onto the couch next to Stacie.

She takes a sip of her wine, peers over the rim of the glass and sees as Stacie brings up the wineglass to her nose and sniffs, face scrunching up before taking a reluctant sip.

Her expression eases instantly and she takes another sip, more eagerly this time and Aubrey is not at all surprised by the turn of events, has to hide her smug smile when Stacie's eyes flicker to hers before looking away quickly.

"And?" Aubrey asks, even though she already has her answer.

"It's alright," Stacie says, voice pitchy and with a shrug and a head tilt that are too exaggerated to be authentic but Aubrey just hums in response and shoots Stacie a small smile.

The bottle is empty and they're halfway through the second movie when Stacie notices Aubrey wrap her arms around herself and look around the living room for the other blankets that used to be strewn about on the couches.

"Laundry day," Stacie explains and Aubrey turns to her with a soft pout. "Come share the blanket with me."

Aubrey hesitates and Stacie doesn't understand why she suddenly looks so nervous.

"I'm fine."

"Stop being so stubborn."

"I'm not being stubborn," she says, aware of but ignoring the blatant irony of her words.

"Then prove it and come share this blanket. You're freezing and I can't have that but if I give you the blanket, I'll be freezing."

"Fine," Aubrey says through gritted teeth, every part of her brain screaming that this is a bad idea, that touching Stacie and cuddling with Stacie and generally just being too close to Stacie is a massively bad idea that isn't going to end well.

It's hard enough to keep her composure and stay away when there's a library or dinner table between them or when she sees Stacie at a party in scandalously short dresses, but she's not sure how to keep her hands to herself if she's cuddling up with Stacie under a blanket with the lights dimmed and a movie on in the background.

"Aubrey," Stacie repeats pointedly, holding up a corner of the blanket and her eyes are challenging, like she thinks Aubrey's not gonna go for it and it's the combination of that and the soft, encouraging smile that shatters Aubrey's resolve and she finds herself scooting closer and curling up next to Stacie, sighing softly at the warmth emanating from Stacie.

She has to focus on keeping her breathing even when Stacie wraps an arm around her and rubs her upper arm to make her warm, her face already tingeing pink.

Stacie takes the opportunity to look at Aubrey up close, watches as she reacts to the movie, her expressions subtle but gorgeous and Stacie only faintly registers the action happening on the screen, mesmerised by the woman in her arms.

Aubrey reaches up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and her fingers brush against her eyelid and Stacie gets to see up close and personal how an eyelash falls from her eye, lands on her cheek and her staring must be getting intense because Aubrey can feel it, turns her head and doesn't seem too surprised to find Stacie staring at her.

"What?" she asks, voice low.

"You have an eyelash. May I?" Stacie asks, hand hovering halfway to her face, waiting for the okay. Aubrey nods once and Stacie plucks the eyelash from her cheekbone, holds it up with the tip of her finger. "Make a wish."

Aubrey meets her eyes briefly before looking sideways at the lash, her slender fingers wrapping around Stacie's wrist to keep her hand in place as she blows gently, sends the eyelash flying into the air.

She seems to finally realise how close they are when she turns back. Stacie's breathing through her mouth and with every exhale, Aubrey feels the warm breath wash over her neck, Stacie’s lips stained red from the wine they’d shared and Aubrey finds herself swaying closer.

It would be so easy for her to lean forward and close the small gap between them.

Stacie’s gaze is firmly trained on Aubrey’s mouth, desire clear but then her eyes flick up to meet Aubrey’s and she sees the storm in the blonde’s eyes, can feel the desire and hesitation emanating from her skin and Stacie doesn’t understand what Aubrey’s waiting for.

Aubrey’s eyes flicker between Stacie’s, looking for any sign of resistance but she finds none and she’s about to kiss the girl when she notices the small scar just next to Stacie’s right eyebrow, the easy-to-miss scar she got from when she let her little sister practice karate kicks with a bottle balanced on her head and Allie had missed and kicked the side of Stacie’s head, sending her down face first into the coffee table and giving her that scar.

Stacie had told her the story when they were laying together in bed, after Aubrey had pressed her lips there and asked what had caused the scar and Stacie had confessed that she always tells people a different story when asked about it and Aubrey’s frozen by the thought that Stacie won’t remember having told Aubrey that story, that if she asks Stacie right now how she got the scar, Stacie would give her a quip and a joke and it’s that sharp realisation that makes her jerk back, throat closing up and moment effectively ruined.

Stacie frowns, taken aback by the reaction and she looks away to hide her disappointment and Aubrey takes a last chance to look at the scar up close before moving away.

“I—I should—” Aubrey stops, presses her eyes closed for a brief second to compose herself. “It’s getting pretty late. I think I’m gonna go home.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“No, you—” Aubrey interrupts her immediately, shaking her head. “—you didn’t do anything wrong,” Aubrey explains with a quick smile but it doesn’t reach her eyes and Stacie notices it immediately.

“Aubrey,” Stacie says softly, frowning, confused and hurt.

“Nothing’s wrong, Stacie, I promise,” Aubrey says, hand moving before she can stop herself and fingertips grazing Stacie’s arm, trying to reassure her. “I’m just…”

She’s not sure what she wants to say or how she wants to say it so Aubrey lets the sentence trail off and Stacie picks it up immediately, startlingly close to the truth when she smiles sadly and says, “Still hung up on your ex.”

Aubrey’s eyes snap to Stacie’s, that dull throb in her chest that’s been there for eight months making itself known again.

“Something like that,” Aubrey says, voice hushed as she stands up, grabbing the blanket before it falls to the ground and moving it to the couch.

Stacie stands up as well, confused by the turn of events.

"Good night," Aubrey says with a tight smile, and before she can stop herself she presses a chaste kiss to Stacie's cheek, her whole body freezing the moment she realises what she's done and how automatic it had been.

"Good night," Stacie says softly, cheek still tingling from the contact and she faintly registers her hand reaching up to touch the skin as she watches Aubrey all but flee the house.

 

* * *

 

"Aubrey? You home?" Chloe calls into the apartment as she makes her way inside.

There's no response and the whole apartment is silent but Chloe knows she's home from the keys in the bowl by the door and her coat slung over the back of the couch.

Chloe carefully closes the front door behind her, toeing off her shoes and shrugging off her coat.

"Aubrey?" she calls out again, making her way to the bedroom. She presses her ear to the door to listen for any noise before quietly pushing open the door, surprised to find Aubrey fast asleep.

Aubrey tenses in her sleep and Chloe's familiar with it so she strides over and perches on the side of the bed, softly runs her fingertips along Aubrey's shoulderblade.

"It's just me," she whispers and Aubrey relaxes again as she begins to stir.

"Chloe?" she asks, blinking away sleep as she opens her eyes, a hand coming up to rub at her eye in a way that would be entirely endearing to Chloe if she wasn't so busy being worried about Aubrey. "What are you doing here?"

Aubrey stifles a yawn as she sits up, running a hand through her hair and facing Chloe.

"I was worried about you," Chloe says, shifting so she's sitting on the bed with her legs crossed, facing Aubrey.

She doesn't miss the furrow of brows even though Aubrey tries to hide it.

"Why?"

Chloe gestures to the room.

"I was just tired," Aubrey explains.

"It's unlike you to take daytime naps," Chloe declares. "And you haven't been around for the past few weeks. I miss you."

"I'm sorry," Aubrey starts to say but Chloe waves it away dismissively. "I'm just so... overwhelmed."

"By grad school?" Chloe asks softly and Aubrey's eyes flicker to Chloe's and away again.

"Just, everything," she says with a small shrug.

"You're not okay," Chloe says and it's not a question but Aubrey still shakes her head.

"I thought I could do this, but more and more I'm starting to second guess everything."

Her voice sounds so broken that Chloe's heart hurts and she crawls over to sit next to Aubrey, wrapping an arm around the girl's shoulders to pull her closer.

Chloe's concern grows tenfold when Aubrey comes without complaint, leaning her head on Chloe's shoulder and leaning into the embrace as if she's starved for it.

"I think I made a mistake," Aubrey whispers. "I don't know if I can do this, Chloe."

"Of course you can," Chloe says immediately, shrugging her shoulder for Aubrey to lift her head and when she does, Chloe twists to face her again, hurting at the sight of tears pooling in Aubrey's eyes and how lifeless she looks. "I believe in you. You can do this."

Aubrey nods but her posture doesn't change.

"You have me, and the rest of the Bellas, and we're all here for you Bree," Chloe says emphatically. "The trick is to _not_ push your friends away, y'know?"

Aubrey chuckles softly at that, pressing her eyelids closed as she takes a deep breath.

"You need to stop avoiding us when things get rough," Chloe whispers. "I don't deserve that. Stacie doesn't deserve that."

"What?" Aubrey asks sharply, head snapping up at the mention of the girl.

"She misses you like crazy," Chloe explains. "She barely even goes to the library anymore because she knows you won't be there."

Aubrey feels like crying but she knows she won't have a good excuse or cover up so she only buries her face in her hands to get her bearings, tries to breathe deeply a few times as she tries not to think of Stacie sitting by herself at the library, waiting for her, disappointed when she doesn't show up.

"Hey, I didn't mean to guilt-trip you," Chloe covers immediately, pulling Aubrey into a hug, her face ending up in the crook of Chloe's neck. "I'm just saying, I know you but she's still learning."

Aubrey's shaking with the effort of holding back tears and Chloe just holds her tighter.

"Can you tell her I'm not avoiding her?" Aubrey finally manages. "I just... I need to figure out my life."

"You should tell her yourself," Chloe says in a soft voice, not to start a fight but to try and push Aubrey the right way.

"I can't, Chlo. Please?"

"As long as you promise not to drop off the face of the earth," Chloe says, already missing Aubrey even though she's right there, knows how reclusive her best friend can get when she needs space.

"Promise."

"Okay." Chloe kisses the side of Aubrey's head, whispers, "I know you can do this. I believe in you."

"I don't know what to do," Aubrey whispers brokenly.

"You don't have to figure it out right now," Chloe says. "Right now, we're going to watch some movies and have wine and pretend that the outside world doesn't exist, okay?"

Aubrey nods, smiles shakily.

"Now, first order of business, do you have comfy clothes for me?" Chloe asks, plucking at her jeans and Aubrey chuckles softly, nods as she crawls out of bed.

Chloe follows her movements closely, can see how weary Aubrey actually is and it's not until she turns back holding out sweatpants and a tank top and sweater for her that Chloe actually sees what's written on the sweatshirt Aubrey's wearing, and she realises suddenly why the emblem looks so familiar.

 

* * *

 

She scrunches up her face, whining softly at the ray of sun shining directly on her face but when she tries to roll over, she bumps into a body.

She opens her eyes and smiles, arm already winding around Aubrey's waist to pull her closer.

Aubrey grumbles, tries to cling onto sleep but Stacie's being distracting, pressing kisses to her shoulder and moving away blonde locks to continue kissing her, along the back of her neck until her lips brush the soft skin just behind Aubrey's ear.

"Wake up, sleeping beauty," she whispers and Aubrey just whines in response. "Come on, Aubrey."

"No," she complains and Stacie cracks a grin at the raspy voice.

"The sooner you wake up, the sooner I can give you an orgasm," Stacie argues and she feels Aubrey's body shake with a laugh.

"I'm good, thanks," she says, yawn breaking halfway when Stacie lets out a sound of indignation.

"How dare you."

"Baby I want to sleep," Aubrey whines even though she's already given up on getting any more shut-eye, especially when Stacie's fingers drift under her loose camisole to run up and down her hip.

"You can sleep after," Stacie offers.

"What time is it?"

Stacie lifts her head to glance at the bedside clock. "Seven."

"In the morning?" Aubrey exclaims, whines again.

"The girls will be up later and we can't have sex then," Stacie answers, brightening when Aubrey shifts onto her back and then squirms so she's facing Stacie.

Her eyes are full of sleep but Stacie can still see the fond exasperation there.

"Okay," Aubrey starts and before Stacie can cheer, she adds, "You can do whatever you want to me."

Stacie laughs softly when Aubrey curls into her, wraps an arm around her middle and closes her eyes to go back to sleep.

"You're no fun when you're asleep," Stacie taunts, poking Aubrey's middle.

"Stacie..." Aubrey whines, squirming away from her touch with a pathetic whimper and a pout. "I'm no fun if I don't get sleep."

"That's also true," Stacie admits, shifting closer and Aubrey opens one eye to glare at her.

Stacie laughs and kisses the tip of her nose, incredibly endeared by the scrunch of her face that it produces.

"Come back, I'll cuddle with you," Stacie offers, moving back to her original spot and opening her arms as an offer.

"You'll let me sleep in peace?" Aubrey asks, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Promise," Stacie says and Aubrey looks hesitant but she still squirms closer, turning her back to Stacie and unceremoniously grabbing Stacie's hand to pull her arm over her waist.

"Thank you," Aubrey mumbles, sighing in content when Stacie shifts them just slightly and settles comfortably.

"I love you," Stacie says, pressing a chaste kiss to Aubrey's shoulder.

"'love you too," Aubrey murmurs, already half asleep and Stacie can't stop her smile.

She closes her eyes, ready to try and get more sleep before deciding to open her eyes to look at Aubrey for a little bit longer instead and she frowns when she blinks open her eyes and finds her arms empty.

She looks around and she's in a different room in the house, and it's the wrong room, everything about it feels wrong and the scarily vivid dream is suddenly gone and she feels so empty inside and all she can do is clutch her pillow, curl up in a tight ball and cry.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for all your love, enjoy this last chapter <3

_Chloe Beale [15:04]:_ _Can you meet me at the Bellas house? It's kinda urgent x Chloe_

Aubrey rereads the text as she waits on the couch, brows tightly knit together as she considers what might be the issue. She'd knocked on the door upon arrival and when there hadn't been any response, she'd used her key and walked in, worried that Chloe might be injured or incapable of getting the door.

The house had been empty, and Aubrey's been imagining countless bad scenarios, made worse by Amy coming home ten minutes after she'd arrived and telling her that Chloe's out with Beca and Stacie.

She keeps rereading the text, dread settling firmly in her gut until she hears the front door slam and three sets of footsteps enter the house. She's up on her feet, turning to Chloe with a worried and slightly annoyed look when she finds herself face to face with a Stacie who looks livid.

"I am so mad at you," Stacie says slowly and darkly, and Aubrey wants to glance away in shame but she hasn't seen Stacie in almost two months and she finds she can't look away.

"I'm sorry I've been so AWOL lately, Stacie, I—" Aubrey stops when she sees Stacie's angry expression crumple, shoulders slumping. "Stacie?"

Aubrey's voice is soft, filled with concern and it's the sound of her name falling from those lips in that inflection that does her in and Stacie burst into tears; big, heavy sobs and she can barely stay upright she's crying so hard.

"I'm so mad at you," she repeats around a sob, tears streaming down her face and she's making no effort to stem the steady flow of tears and Aubrey's breath catches loudly.

Stacie's lower lip trembles and her fingers twitch, small movements that give her away and Aubrey rounds the couch before she even knows what she's doing, stops at the last moment when she remembers that she can't just take Stacie into her arms to comfort her, that it's not her place no matter how much it looks like Stacie's falling apart.

She tries looking at Beca or Chloe but they look equally as perplexed and worried as she does, and when she glances back at Stacie the girl is looking straight at her, tears still falling.

"Stacie..." Aubrey whispers, confused by the steady stream of tears and their cause. Surely staying away can't have affected Stacie that much, and Chloe's urgent message to come to the house doesn't seem to fit within context either, so she glances between Stacie's eyes, searching for anything that might give her a clue.

"How could you not tell me?" Stacie asks brokenly and Aubrey feels a cold hand grip her throat and squeeze.

Aubrey doesn’t have time to respond before she has an armful of Stacie, the brunette burying her face in the crook of Aubrey’s neck as Aubrey immediately and instinctively wraps her arms around Stacie.

"What happened?" Aubrey asks, looking between Chloe and Beca insistently but Beca just shrugs and Chloe shakes her head so she turns back to Stacie, eyes closing for a brief moment as she revels in the feeling of having Stacie close again when the girl nuzzles further into her, sliding her arms around Aubrey's waist and holding her tightly. "Stace..."

"How could you keep us from me?" Stacie murmurs against skin, still crying and tears immediately spring to Aubrey's eyes.

"What?" she asks, voice breathless and belying her sharp disbelief at hearing the words.

Stacie doesn't answer her, just cries harder, tightens her grip on Aubrey, whimpers softly when Aubrey drags a hand up her back to cradle her head, fingers moving into chestnut tresses to scratch softly at her scalp.

The movement is so _familiar_ and Stacie trembles.

"How could you not tell me?" Stacie sobs and Aubrey hates how hurt she sounds, feels guilty at how hard Stacie's crying while at the same time feeling an overwhelming sense of relief that Stacie finally seems to remember something, anything.

"Stacie, I'm so sorry," Aubrey whispers, turns her head into Stacie's to press her lips against the side of her head and keep them there. "I'm so sorry, please don't hate me."

"I'm so mad at you," Stacie whispers.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Aubrey begs, trying valiantly not to cry, more than aware of the two pairs of eyes watching them with interest.

Beca seems a lot more confused than Chloe, whose puzzled frown is softened by the brightness of her eyes as she follows each little movement like a hawk. She steps closer, as if to reach out and comfort Stacie when Aubrey shakes her head.

"Can we have some privacy?" Aubrey asks and Chloe immediately steps back, an encouraging smile on her face as she nods, gaze briefly flickering to Stacie where she seems to curl further into Aubrey.

Beca makes a sound of protest, is about to argue the point but before she has a chance to voice it, Chloe grips Beca's arm and all but yanks her out of the living room and up the stairs, a surprised and disgruntled yelp falling from Beca's lips as they go.

Aubrey returns her attention to Stacie, notices that her tears have slowed a bit but she still holds Stacie close and says, "I'm so sorry."

Stacie sniffles loudly and Aubrey can feel her eyelashes flutter against the skin of her neck.

"What do you remember?" Aubrey asks carefully, afraid of inducing tears again.

"Everything," Stacie says immediately in a hoarse voice before she pauses, hesitates. "I think."

"Okay," Aubrey says resolutely, peels Stacie away from her to meet her eyes. "We can go over everything."

"Why didn't we before?" Stacie whispers accusingly and tears spring to Aubrey's eyes at the heartache she can see clearly on the girl's face, the heavy feeling of guilt that Aubrey's been feeling for almost ten months growing with every second. "You lied to me. You kept this from me."

"I'm sorry," Aubrey says, shakes her head softly. "I thought it would be easier for you."

"To not be with you?" Stacie counters immediately, voice taking on a hysterical tone.

"You were having such a hard time in the beginning. I didn't want to add to it," Aubrey confesses.

"You could have helped!"

"I'm sorry," Aubrey pleads, her hand still curled around the back of Stacie's neck and she shifts it so that she can sweep over Stacie's cheek with her thumb, the small movement drawing a sigh from Stacie as she softens, turns into the touch. "The doctors said it would take time and to not spring everything on you at once so I didn't."

Aubrey shrugs, maintains her hold on Stacie even as she looks away, jaw clenched tightly and Stacie feels a pang go through her heart.

"You needed time," Aubrey says in a small voice and something finally clicks in Stacie's brain as she realises how hard this must have been on Aubrey. "I was giving you time," she says, more resolutely but in a quieter voice.

Stacie thinks back to their months of banter and flirting and Stacie not realising how close they'd actually been and how impossible a situation Aubrey must have been in and the guilt is crushing, her shoulders slumping again as the full weight hits her.

"I'm so sorry," Stacie says, crying again and Aubrey's eyes are instantly on her again, confusion clear.

"What—?"

"I'm sorry I forgot you," Stacie chokes out and Aubrey finally cries, tears rolling down her cheeks as she pulls Stacie in and wraps her arms around the brunette again, calming at the feel of getting to hold Stacie.

"You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for," Aubrey insists, turns her head to press a kiss to Stacie's temple. "I love you, okay?"

"How could I not remember that?" Stacie asks, body shaking with her tears and it breaks Aubrey's heart all over again.

"The same way you couldn't remember the Bellas at first," Aubrey says, tries for a light tone and falls far from it. "None of this is your fault."

"You're a lot more important than the Bellas," Stacie says petulantly, sniffling as she pulls away and before she can lift her hand to wipe at her cheeks, Aubrey's cupping her face and brushing away her tears with a soft smile. Stacie takes a moment to look into Aubrey's eyes, heart hurting. "How could my brain just misplace you?"

Aubrey sighs at the heartbroken tone and Stacie's lower lip starts trembling so she cradles Stacie's head and holds it in place as she leans up to press a lingering kiss to her forehead.

Stacie's exhale is shaky, fingers gripping Aubrey's hips.

"C'mon," Aubrey murmurs and Stacie lets herself be led over to the couch and Aubrey's heart warms at Stacie's seeming inability to let her go so she ends up with her legs tucked under her body and Stacie practically sitting in her lap, her back against the armrest of the couch as they face each other.

Stacie's playing with her fingers, frowning down at her lap, deep in thought so Aubrey waits her out.

"You've been repeating our dates..." Stacie says softly, voice a little shaky still as she flits through her seemingly innocuous hangouts with Aubrey while she hadn't had her memories back, remembers the aquarium, and movie night with wine, and dinners at their Italian spot, and Sundays out on the quad and her chest is warm and tight with her overlapping memories.

"The doctor told me going to familiar places might help jog your memory," Aubrey explains and fresh tears spring to Stacie's eyes.

"You must have been so disappointed every time I didn't..." She trails off, choking up and even though Aubrey feels tears pool in her eyes, she shakes her head sharply to dispel them and untangles one of her hands to reach up and cup Stacie's face, urging her eyes to meet Aubrey's.

"Hey, it's okay—"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Stacie interrupts and Aubrey has to swallow down the sudden thickness in her throat.

Aubrey shakes her head, shrugs softly and watches the confusion flit across Stacie's face.

"You remember that we were fighting?" Aubrey asks and Stacie nods slowly. "When I heard about your accident I—"

She chokes up then, hand flying up to her mouth to choke back a sob as she tears up again.

Stacie's staring at her so intently and Aubrey wants to look away to compose herself but it's been so long since she's been allowed to just look at Stacie without having to hide anything that she finds she physically can't avert her eyes.

"I felt so relieved that you were even alive. I don't even remember what that stupid fight was about but we hadn't seen each other in weeks and all I wanted to do was see you and touch you and make sure you were okay. I called your mom to come see you but she wasn't letting anybody besides close family in at first because you weren't doing well and I figured she would never intentionally keep me away if you were asking for me so I didn't push it."

Stacie slides her fingers between Aubrey's to tangle them, squeezes her hand softly and Aubrey's eyes drop to their hands, a smile flickering on her face.

"Chloe told me you had memory loss and that's how I figured out that you didn't ask for me because you just didn't remember me."

Stacie closes her eyes as the weight of the words sink in, before a small thought nags at her mind.

"Chloe didn't know we were dating," Stacie says and Aubrey looks up at her with a small frown. "I remembered certain things, so how could she know I didn't remember you?"

"That's what I thought," Aubrey says, the corners of her mouth tugging up. "Which is why I asked your mom if I could visit."

"And you did," Stacie whispers, the memory a little warped but there.

"And I did." Stacie can see the sadness settle over Aubrey like a blanket and she hates it, angry at the situation they're in. "And you didn't remember me."

"You could have told me," Stacie tries and Aubrey immediately shakes her head with a sad smile.

"No, I couldn't. Not then."

"Why not?"

"Baby your life was falling apart," Aubrey says and Stacie warms at the term of endearment. "Your mom was pushing the Bellas thing and I could see how frustrated you were. You were so angry with yourself for not remembering the Bellas. I didn't want to add to that, so I made a judgment call."

"But you could have—"

"No," Aubrey says sharply. "It's called hindsight for a reason, Stacie. You were hurting and struggling and frustrated and it hurt so much to see and I would never want to add to that." Aubrey smiles as she looks down to hide how heartbroken she'd been at the time but Stacie knows her, remembers her and recognises the hollowness in her eyes. "You just needed time," Aubrey whispers.

"It's been ten months. How much time were you going to give me?"

Aubrey doesn't say anything, eyes averted and Stacie softly squeezes her hand to get her attention.

"Aubrey?" Stacie tries but Aubrey keeps her eyes firmly on their clasped hands.

"I—" She swallows thickly. "I don't know."

"Aubrey," Stacie says, voice a warning.

"I don't know!" She seems to deflate then, her flash of annoyance gone as quickly as it had appeared. "I think I... I didn't even entertain the possibility that you might not get your memory back. I was just gonna wait it out, but then more and more..."

Aubrey trails off and Stacie lets the thought race through her mind.

"Is that why you've been avoiding me?"

Aubrey lifts her head and meets Stacie's imploring eyes with a sad smile and a dejected shrug.

"Yes." Stacie opens her mouth to say something, probably to argue the point if her frown is anything to go by so Aubrey puts up a hand to stop her. "I never even thought about what I would do if you never got your memory back but the more time passed the more it just seemed like that was going to be my new reality and I had no idea how to cope with that. Seeing you every day and trying to deal with that was impossible."

"You could've said something," Stacie tries softly.

"And say what? 'I'm sorry I can't look at you because my heart is breaking'?" Aubrey snaps.

"None of this would've been necessary if you'd just _told_ me," Stacie insists.

"Do you have any idea how selfish that would have been?"

"It was selfish to keep this to yourself!" Stacie throws back, frowning when Aubrey pulls her hand out of Stacie's to cross her arms. "It was selfish to keep this from me."

"Telling you would have been more selfish! You clearly didn't remember me or us and for me to put that on you months after the fact? I'd just be doing it to clear my conscience and you would be back at square one, angry and frustrated that you can't remember. I could _never_ do that to you." She closes her eyes, lifts a hand to rub at her temples before exhaling slowly, deeply and looking back up at Stacie. "You deserve to be happy, Stacie, and to live a full life and not be burdened by your guilt over something you can't remember."

"And what about you, Aubrey?"

"What about me?"

"Don't you deserve to be happy?" Stacie challenges, mouth set in determination.

"And I would be, as long as you're healthy and safe and happy," Aubrey says emphatically.

"Is it that easy not to be with me?" Stacie whispers accusingly, shifting backwards so her legs are no longer thrown over Aubrey's. "Was it that easy to let me go?"

Aubrey's expression turns dark then at the insinuation.

"It's the hardest thing that I have ever had to do, Stacie." Aubrey glances between her eyes, expression softening when she sees how heartbroken Stacie looks. "Do you know how great you are? You're smart and you're funny and you're adorable and I love spending time with you, and I _love_ you and it has been so hard just keeping my hands to myself. I miss you so much and you are right here! You were within reach and I just, couldn't. I love you so much, Stacie, and I can't do that to you. I can't be the reason you're stuck trying to remember the past."

"Did you ever stop to think that I don't know how to be happy without you, Aubrey?" Stacie asks, the woman blurry on account of the tears in her eyes.

"You've been doing great these past few months," Aubrey tries to dismiss, shaking her head and lifting a hand to wipe at her eyes.

"No, I haven't been," Stacie counters immediately and Aubrey freezes. "I'm not okay and I'm not happy. I'm struggling. Just ask Chloe."

"What?"

"I've been feeling so empty inside, Bree. I wake up crying all the time and I feel so empty and I'm dreaming about a life I thought wasn't mine or wasn't real. But it's just been you all along. Aubrey, you were the missing piece of the puzzle," Stacie says, words firm even though tears are trailing down her cheeks.

"I didn't know," Aubrey breathes.

"You should have told me," Stacie says but she doesn't sound accusing anymore, her voice pleading as she tries to get her point across. She doesn't blame Aubrey for not telling her and she knows she's a hypocrite for wanting to have had the information from the beginning, especially after what she'd said to the other girls, but the difference between them and Aubrey is monumental and she doesn't need to explain that.

"I'm sorry," Aubrey whispers. "If I'd known..."

"I know," Stacie stops her before she can even continue. "I'm sorry too."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for," Aubrey says immediately, ready to once again battle Stacie's clear guilt over her amnesia but Stacie shakes her head.

"I'm sorry about what I said, before." Stacie bites her lip and Aubrey frowns for a second before she remembers what Stacie's talking about and Aubrey chuckles, shakes her head with a sad smile.

"You don't have to apologise. I already forgave you," Aubrey says, harking back to the stupid yet explosive fight they'd had two weeks before Stacie's accident.

"I don't deserve that," Stacie counters. "Just because I had amnesia doesn't mean I'm automatically excused from an apology."

"I think it's one of the very few scenarios that _does_ excuse it," Aubrey says, mouth twitching and Stacie lets out a watery laugh, sniffling loudly and wiping her face with the back of her hand.

"Come here, please," Stacie whispers, holding out her other hand in the space between them.

Aubrey slides her hand into Stacie's, lets herself be hauled into her lap and her eyes slide closed when Stacie holds her closely, lips pressed against her cheek.

"What finally triggered it?"

"Hm?" Stacie hums, pulling away to look at Aubrey.

"What brought your memories back?"

"Botanical Gardens," Stacie says cryptically, shifting Aubrey closer to hug her tightly and hide her expression, afraid the light flush creeping up her cheeks would give her away.

"We never went to the Botanical Gardens together," Aubrey muses aloud, steadfastly refusing to let Stacie off the hook.

Stacie shakes her head and when Aubrey pulls away to meet her eyes, Stacie's wearing a shy smile and keeps her eyes focused on Aubrey's shoulder.

"Stacie..." Aubrey urges, fingers ghosting over Stacie's cheek. "What is it?"

"We've never been together but I have. I went for a class last year right when school started. The city council wants to host an event there next month and invited the Bellas to perform and Beca and Chloe were gonna go scout the place but they've never been so I offered to join them today because there are some really cool hidden spots there plus it's easier to check acoustics with three people than—"

"Stacie," Aubrey says, halting her rambling with an exasperated look.

"It's where I realised I was in love with you," Stacie admits in a rush of words, finally looking up and she has the pleasure of seeing the words enter Aubrey's brain, sees her process them, watches as her smile softens, lips pursed in an effort to contain her smile as her eyes stare back at her, so full of love.

"Why there?" Aubrey finally asks, fingers trailing along Stacie's shoulder.

"Sunflowers." Aubrey tilts her head quizzically as Stacie takes a second to rearrange the words in her head. "Last year, they were having a sunflower show and sunflowers always remind me of you and I remember wandering around and finding these France-inspired gardens and I know you love those neat hedges and courtyards and there were these benches and I just wanted to spend a day with you there on a bench, just us."

Aubrey sways forwards, fingers gripping Stacie's shoulder before she thinks better of it and Stacie can't help but smile at how involuntary the move had been on Aubrey's part because she knows, she remembers now, what the logical reaction to sweet words like those is and it's always some form of Aubrey's lips on hers.

Aubrey doesn't get too far in her hesitation though, because Stacie's hand is warm on the small of her back, pressing and urging her closer, their eyes meeting and it's like Aubrey's looking for any sign of resistance.

Stacie doesn't have time for that, her gaze firmly locked on Aubrey's lips, parting her own in anticipation and sighing softly when she sees Aubrey lick her lips.

"Please..." Stacie breathes, barely gets the word out before Aubrey presses her lips against hers and Stacie melts, leans into it and lets Aubrey set the pace.

Kissing Aubrey is as easy as breathing and now that she's started kissing her again, Stacie wonders how she ever went without, how she could ever have forgotten what it feels like to kiss her. Aubrey holds her so carefully, like she's the most fragile thing in the world, her hand having drifted higher and ending up with a thumb under Stacie's chin to tilt her head slightly back while her fingertips gently graze against the skin of Stacie's neck.

Stacie sighs again and Aubrey takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss, the tenderness in her hands juxtaposed by her mouth doing the exact opposite, tongue insistent in Stacie's mouth, a soft moan falling from her lips as she kisses Stacie harshly, like she's drowning and the only way to get air is from Stacie.

Stacie's trying to make up for lost time, her mouth moving against Aubrey's just as frantically, one hand curled around Aubrey's waist and in a moment of weakness she grips Aubrey's thigh and hauls her that much closer, bodies crashing together and Aubrey gasps in her mouth, hips shifting to settle more comfortably in her new position and Stacie moans and suddenly thinks she's seeing stars.

She goes a little lightheaded and forgets that she's not leaning back against the couch, and when Aubrey shifts again, she unintentionally slides backwards until her shoulders are propped up by the armrest and Aubrey leans over her, their lips never parting. Stacie drags a hand up Aubrey's back, smiling into their kiss when she feels Aubrey shiver so she repeats the action, ignoring the hair tickling her neck until Aubrey twitches and bites down on her lip and then Stacie has to moan before breaking away with a giggle.

Aubrey takes in a sharp breath before releasing it in a broken chuckle, but before she can reach out to tuck her hair behind her ears, Stacie's hands are there, fingertips grazing the soft skin behind her ears as she cradles her face and leans up to nip at Aubrey's lips, both of them panting.

"I've missed you," Aubrey rasps and Stacie eyes flutter open when she hears the low voice, smiles when she finds golden green eyes watching her closely.

"I've missed that," Stacie responds and Aubrey's laugh is breathless and warm and then she's kissing Stacie again, deeply and with intent, sliding a hand into brown tresses and raking her nails over Stacie's scalp.

Stacie moans, reluctantly releases one hand from Aubrey's hair to reach behind her and push off from the couch. She's about to shift back into a sitting position when there's loud steps just outside the living room and a small commotion.

"Hey! What's going on in—whoah!" Amy stops, stares at them and Stacie lifts her head to glare at Amy.

"Get out," Aubrey orders and Amy throws up her hands innocently.

"I was just—" She barely gets to finish her sentence before she's being yanked out of the living room by two pairs of hands, a yelp falling from her lips in response and then there are sounds of a quarrel just outside, distinctively Ashley and Jessica-sounding voices yelling at Amy to stay out of the living room.

Aubrey laughs softly, but when she turns back to face Stacie, the woman is watching her with an intense expression.

"Stace?"

"I love you so much, Aubrey," Stacie says, sitting up and twisting so her back is propped up against the couch as she keeps Aubrey in her lap. "I understand why you did it, but if— _god forbid_ —anything like this ever happens again, I want you to tell me."

Aubrey nods, presses her lips against Stacie's cheek, lingering there and Stacie's eyes flutter closed as she takes in a shaky breath, basking in the feeling of getting to hold Aubrey, a tear trailing down her cheek despite her stubborn attempts to prevent it.

"I love you too," Aubrey whispers, kissing away Stacie's lone tear.

"I don't want to live a life without you in it," Stacie whispers.

"I understand."

"I'm sorry you had to go through this," Stacie adds and Aubrey's fingers on her cheek guide her face sideways so Aubrey can press their foreheads together.

"You had no control over this, Stacie. Don't apologise and please don't feel guilty."

"I'll try."

"Okay."

"Can you stay here?"

"I'm not going anywhere," Aubrey says, smiling when Stacie sighs in content.

"Stay the night?"

"Anything you want."

 

* * *

 

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Aubrey says, as she makes her way over, surprised to see Stacie and frowning softly in confusion even as the smile on her face doesn't budge.

"I texted you like an hour ago that I was on my way," Stacie says, pausing with her back against the front door so she can take off her shoes.

"Ugh," Aubrey says, rolling her eyes and gesturing vaguely to the kitchen. "My reception has been terrible all day."

Stacie sighs and shakes her head in exasperation. "Your phone is so shit, baby."

She finally has her shoes off, kicks them next to Aubrey's and steps closer, drops her keys in the bowl by the door before sliding a hand around Aubrey's middle and Aubrey melts into her, smiling against Stacie's lips.

"Hi," Stacie says as Aubrey kisses her.

"Hi yourself."

Aubrey curls her fingers into the waistband of Stacie's shorts, nails softly scratching at the skin there before she shifts her hand up, splays her fingers wide until her fingertips brush against the underwire of Stacie's bra.

Stacie nips at her lower lip, teeth scraping there and Aubrey moans softly when Stacie does it a second time while squeezing her butt.

Stacie's about to move her hands under fabric when there's a faint beeping sound, and she becomes distracted by it so much that Aubrey whines petulantly when she realises she's no longer Stacie's singular point of focus.

"What's that?"

"Oven."

"You should go get that."

"But I don't know how long you're staying and I want to kiss you," Aubrey says even as she steps out of Stacie's arms.

"Check your texts!"

"Look at my phone! I didn't get a text," Aubrey throws over her shoulder as she makes her way to the kitchen.

"What are you making?" Stacie asks, strolling in after Aubrey, Aubrey's phone in her hand. "Huh, you really didn't get my text. Weird."

"Carrot cake," Aubrey says absentmindedly, carefully lifting the cake out of the oven and putting it on the counter. "I told you."

"Ooh, yum!" Stacie says excitedly before frowning down at Aubrey's phone. "It's just so surprising is all. How is this not more of an issue in your daily life?"

"You are the only person I text."

"Aw, baby," Stacie says, putting on a sad pout directed at Aubrey and breaking into giggles when the woman glares back at her.

"I have perfectly good data," Aubrey explains. "Everybody I know has an iPhone."

"Here we go again..." Stacie mumbles, rolling her eyes as she hops up to sit on the counter.

"I'm just saying, if it's something urgent you should send me a Facebook message."

"You never check your Facebook," Stacie counters and Aubrey has to concede that point.

"But at least I'd get the message and the notification and if I see it's you, I know it's urgent," Aubrey explains, turning off her oven and tossing her oven mitts in a cupboard.

"I'm not going to Facebook message you private stuff, you know they spy on everybody's conversations."

"Every company spies on on everybody's conversation," Aubrey throws back, stepping close and letting her hands fall on Stacie's thighs. "You told me that."

"That's true," Stacie gives, widens her legs so Aubrey can step between them.

"Plus it's not like that stops you from sending me—" Aubrey clears her throat, gaze falling to Stacie's cleavage. "—pictures."

"And I have yet to receive one from you," Stacie says, grinning as she squares her shoulders, intentionally pushing up her breasts a little bit more to tease Aubrey.

"If you had iMessage..."

"You're saying the reason I haven't been blessed with your cute selfies is because I refuse to conform to societal pressure and buy into a monopolising giant corporation that created an exclusive environment meant only for people who own their products?" Stacie rattles off and Aubrey's mouth twitches with a badly concealed smile.

"Yes."

Stacie narrows her eyes at the woman, crosses her arms. "My Android is a million times better than your iPhone."

"You're not wrong," Aubrey admits.

"But?"

Aubrey shrugs but she's still giving Stacie that small, coy smile.

"Apple also spies on its customers. If you're worried about the privacy of your pictures..." Stacie says and Aubrey shakes her head even before Stacie finishes speaking.

"It's not a privacy thing, it's an ease of use thing. Like with video-calling. Facetime is so much easier than Skype," Aubrey explains.

"There's literally no difference," Stacie says in exasperation.

"How many times have the Bellas begged you to switch over to an iPhone so you could have decent group chats?"

"They all have Whatsapp, it's no big deal," Stacie dismisses with a vague wave of her hand.

"Yeah but it's not like the group chat."

"What group chat?" Stacie asks urgently and Aubrey immediately knows she's messed up.

"Nothing."

"No, what did you just say?"

Aubrey tries to move away but Stacie's quicker, wrapping her legs around Aubrey's middle to keep her close before scooting to the edge of the countertop to also loop her arms around Aubrey's neck and trap her close.

"They have an iMessage thread," Aubrey confesses, incapable of resisting Stacie's persuasion tactics—tactics that mostly involve her shoving her breasts in Aubrey's face and Aubrey's only human, after all.

"What?!"

Aubrey nods with a guilty smile.

"You're lying," Stacie breathes in disbelief.

"I'm not. I've seen it. Chloe offered to add me to it but I said it would be weird."

"That traitor. She never even told me," Stacie mutters darkly and Aubrey laughs softly, runs her fingertip along Stacie's frown.

"You've made it very clear to the Bellas that you're never giving up your Samsung," Aubrey tries to say gently but Stacie just pouts and turns that dark glare onto her.

"So now they, what, enlisted you to help further the cause?"

"Nothing like that," Aubrey reassures, free hand running along Stacie's leg soothingly. "I just think there are certain benefits to you owning an iPhone."

"Such as?"

"You can send me a message that I'll actually receive? On time? Because my cellular connection sucks but my data doesn't and I have wifi everywhere?"

"Whatsapp," Stacie counters simply.

"Facetime," Aubrey throws back. "Plus then you could do group Facetimes with the Bellas."

"I live with those traitors, I see them plenty. Also, Skype."

"We can have a joint iCloud for photos."

"What does that—?"

Aubrey shoots her a pointed look.

"You said you would never do that," Stacie says strongly but Aubrey can see her breaths shorten and can feel the skin under her hands grow warmer.

Aubrey purses her lips, arches an eyebrow and shrugs one shoulder in a way that suggests otherwise.

Stacie leans in close, their noses almost touching and levels Aubrey with a heated look as she whispers, "You're telling me that you would take pictures of your hot as fuck naked body for me?"

Aubrey doesn't answer her immediately, licks her lips and Stacie's almost shaking with excitement.

"We can sext."

"We can sext now," Stacie throws back.

"Not if it takes ten minutes for me to get one of your texts because reception in this apartment sucks."

"We're going in circles," Stacie teases and Aubrey breaks into a grin at that as she leans up to quickly kiss Stacie's lips.

"Whatever. Keep your superior phone. Just know that you're missing out on late night Facetime calls and suggestive photos," Aubrey mumbles against her lips, hands dragging up Stacie's thighs before abruptly lifting them away.

"I'm honestly not that attached to my Samsung," Stacie confesses quickly before Aubrey can flit away and it gives the blonde pause.

"Then why—"

"I can't afford an iPhone, Aubrey," Stacie admits, pulling back a little and fiddling with her earring. "I'm a broke college student on a scholarship and I'm not gonna ask my mom for money to buy an iPhone, especially not when I literally have a better phone."

Aubrey smiles softly then, wraps her arms around Stacie's middle to pull her close again and leans up to kiss her slowly.

"I love your principles even if they're seriously annoying," Aubrey whispers when they pull away, presses her lips to Stacie's ear as she speaks before kissing the skin there. Stacie shrugs awkwardly, keeps her eyes firmly on the ground so Aubrey kisses her again. "And not wanting to waste money on an iPhone is not something to be embarrassed about. You have me."

The words confuse her, and Aubrey takes advantage of that as she gently unhooks Stacie's ankles behind her back so she can step out of the embrace and grab some water.

"Aubrey?" Stacie says softly, squints her eyes as she follows Aubrey's movements around the kitchen, noticing the way the blonde won't meet her eyes.

"Do you want anything to eat?"

"Aubrey."

"So no?"

"Don't fucking buy me an iPhone," Stacie says, completely ignoring her other questions.

"I won't," Aubrey says but she's still not looking at Stacie.

"Seems like the kinda thing you'd do."

"I'm not going to."

"Promise?" Stacie urges and Aubrey finally sighs, twists to glare at her.

"Promise."

Stacie smiles and nods in acceptance, relaxes and lets Aubrey start gathering ingredients to make icing.

"So..." Aubrey starts.

"Hm?"

"My phone contract is up next month and I can get a new phone then. Which iPhone do you want?"

"Aubrey!" Stacie exclaims, looks up at the ceiling and lets out a loud, frustrated groan.

"What?" Aubrey asks innocently.

"I said don't buy me one!"

"I'm not going to," Aubrey says with a shrug, scooping cream cheese into a bowl. "I'm going to get one anyway and mine still works perfectly fine so I'm going to give the new one to you."

"Why don't you keep the new iPhone and I'll take your current phone."

Aubrey grins then, the smile unfurling slowly over her face as she turns her eyes onto Stacie, and she looks almost manic even though she's holding a spatula in one hand and a stick of butter in the other and Stacie immediately knows she's been tricked.

"What?" Stacie tries to deflect.

"So you would switch over if you got a phone out of it?" Aubrey argues and _shit_.

Stacie presses her lips together and scrunches up her face, not seeing any way out of it. "Maybe."

"Then I'm definitely giving you the new one," Aubrey says, the evil look in her eye washing away as she starts mixing together the icing. "I can't entice you away from Samsung with an old model iPhone."

"I hate you so much right now," Stacie pouts.

"You love me. I'm getting you a new phone," Aubrey teases and Stacie rolls her eyes.

She hops off the counter and steps close to Aubrey, slides her hands around the woman's middle and leans in, nuzzling her neck before pressing a series of kisses there.

"Are you gonna send me pictures of you in this sweatshirt and nothing else?" Stacie murmurs, grazing her teeth along the corner of Aubrey's jaw and not missing the way Aubrey has to grip the edge of the counter to keep her composure.

"What do you have with this sweatshirt, huh?" Aubrey teases, a soft moan following her words when Stacie bites down on her pulse point.

"You look hot in my clothes."

Aubrey drops the spatula she's holding so she can use her newly freed hand to reach up behind her and wrap around the back of Stacie's neck, keeping her close as she moves her mouth over Aubrey's skin.

"But you know what?" Stacie manages, hands sliding under the sweatshirt and trailing up, surprised to find that Aubrey's not wearing a bra.

"What?" Aubrey asks breathlessly, arching into the touch.

"You look even hotter out of my clothes," Stacie says, laughing softly when Aubrey spins around in her grip and surges forward to kiss her.

Aubrey already has a grip on the hem of her shirt and starts pulling it up over Stacie's head.

She ducks her head and closes her eyes, and when she opens them, she's back in her bedroom at the Bella house, sitting up and breathing hard enough to rouse Aubrey from sleep.

"Stacie?" she murmurs, voice thick with sleep and Stacie twists her head to just watch her, unable to answer, almost in tears when she realises that the dream wasn't a dream at all, but a sharp memory that stays, no longer fading from her brain like a fiction of her imagination.

Aubrey finally cracks open an eye enough to look at Stacie, the other eye snapping open immediately when she sees the girl with tears in her eyes.

"Hey," she says softly but strongly, sitting up and wrapping her arms around Stacie's body. "Stacie."

"Sorry, I'm just—"

"I know," Aubrey whispers, kissing the side of her head.

"Where's Chloe?" Stacie asks once she pinpoints why the quiet of the room seems so unsettling.

"Said she was giving us some alone time," Aubrey explains with a teasing smile that Stacie can't help but mirror despite her still racing heart. "What do you need?" Aubrey whispers, hand rubbing soothing circles on the small of Stacie's back.

"I don't know," Stacie says, letting out a shaky sigh before twisting her head and looking at Aubrey. "You."

"I'm right here," Aubrey says.

"Where's my phone?" Stacie asks suddenly, urgently, glancing around the room.

"Right there," Aubrey points to the bedside table where Stacie's Samsung rests next to her iPhone but Stacie's already shaking her head, climbing out of bed and moving over to her desk, turning on the light as she goes.

Aubrey flinches at the sudden brightness in the room, confused by how frantically Stacie's rifling through her desk drawers.

"Stacie..."

"Shit," Stacie mutters when she finds the phone between some papers and tries to turn it on, realises she has to charge it before getting any use out of it. "Dammit!"

She drops onto her desk chair and buries her face in her hands, elbows resting on her knees.

"Stacie," Aubrey calls out again when it all clicks in her brain and Stacie's crying softly again so she quickly crawls out of bed and crouches down in front of Stacie. "Baby, look at me."

Stacie finally lifts her head, face crumpled and cheeks wet with tears.

Aubrey smiles sadly but then she holds up her phone, shakes it softly and Stacie's gaze flickers over to it before looking back at Aubrey with a hopeful look.

"Texts go two ways, Stacie," Aubrey says, slides a hand into Stacie's and uses it as leverage to stand up and tug the girl with her back to bed.

She exchanges their phones, hands Stacie hers as she takes Stacie's iPhone and plugs it into the charger she'd been using for her phone.

"My password hasn't changed," Aubrey says and Stacie hesitates for a moment, pointing to herself and waiting for Aubrey's nod of confirmation before tapping 7-8-2-2-4-3 and the phone clicks as it unlocks.

Stacie drops down to sit between Aubrey's legs, sighing in content when Aubrey urges her to lean back against her and she happily curls up with her head on the blonde's shoulder as she navigates to iMessage and finds the thread of their abandoned conversation.

She expects to find it far lower, amongst older messages but it's only the 3rd from the top and she briefly glances up at Aubrey's face, finds her blushing and pointedly not looking at Stacie.

"Can I?" Stacie asks.

"That's why I gave it to you," Aubrey says with a nod and Stacie's breath hitches when she finally clicks on her own name and finds the thread filled with random messages, unanswered by her, the most recent one only a few days old.

She scrolls through countless _I love yous_ and _I miss yous_ and pauses when she finds two messages in a green bubble instead of a blue one indicating they were sent as regular text messages instead of as iMessages.

"4 am is a weak hour," Aubrey whispers and when Stacie looks at her, finds Aubrey looking at her with a soft smile and even softer eyes, Stacie has the startling thought that Aubrey's been looking at her like this for months, eyes shining and so full of love and she just hadn't recognised it at the time.

She tears up again, leans in to kiss Aubrey before she has a chance to cry at their messed up situation.

Aubrey kisses her back, fingers reaching out to wipe away Stacie's tears even though she's also crying softly and Stacie drops the phone between them to wrap an arm around Aubrey's waist and hold her tightly.

"We had plans," Stacie whispers. "Baby, I'm so sorry."

"We'll figure it out, okay?" Aubrey says, cupping Stacie's jaw when she presses their foreheads together and Stacie nods.

"I love you," Stacie says, kissing her again.

"Do you?" Aubrey taunts, trying to force a light tone and Stacie smiles at the effort.

"I do," Stacie says, nods fervently.

"How much?" Aubrey asks coyly, fingers playing with the soft hairs at the nape of Stacie's neck.

"You know how much," Stacie flirts and Aubrey smiles, can't contain how happy she feels that they're like this.

"I want to hear it," she teases but when Stacie looks into her eyes, there's an almost desperate look there, like this is the last thing she needs to confirm that Stacie's completely back, all herself again and safely in her arms and Stacie's more than willing to give Aubrey that reassurance, smiling as she presses her lips to Aubrey's in a slow kiss.

"If you want to know how much I love you—" Stacie starts, the words whispered in the breath between their lips as Stacie holds her gaze evenly, smiling softly. "—just count the stars."

"I love you," Aubrey whispers back, voice thick with emotion and she tugs Stacie down for another kiss.

They don't go to sleep for a long time after that, and when Stacie wakes up the next morning, it's not because of a vivid dream that snaps her awake, it's slowly and calmly and she's curled around Aubrey and she doesn't feel empty inside, just warm and at _home_.

 

**Author's Note:**

> come yell at me for one last time!


End file.
